“Shithead” and other baby names
I’ve always admired how blacks in the United States have given unique names to their children. DeShawn, Imani, Ebony, Shanice, Aaliyah… Us white folks in the U.S. and Finland recycle the same boring names. You get unique social security number, unique license plate number, unique credit card number, unique phone number…but not something unqiue for something as important as yourself. Yeah, I guess if you count first, middle, and last names – you’re pretty unique. But why not a unique first name? Freaknomics lists some odd first names…
Increasingly, there are brand names (Lexus, Armani, Bacardi, Timberland) and what might be called aspirational names. The California data show eight Harvards born during the 1990s (all of them black), fifteen Yales (all white), and eighteen Princetons (all black). There were no Doctors but three Laywers (all black), nine Judges (eight of them white), three Senators (all white), and two Presidents (both black). Then there are the invented names. Roland G. Fryer Jr., while discussing his names research on a radio show, took a call from a black woman who was upset with the name just given to her baby niece. It was pronounced shuh-TEED but was in fact spelled “Shithead.” Or consider the twin boys OrangeJello and LemonJello, also black, whose parents further dignified their choice by instituting the pronunciations a-RON-zhello and le-MON-zhello.
Of course, I say I like unique names, but I’m glad my name is fairly normal. I grew up with a few kids with hippie parents who named them “Sky” and “Lake”. Coincidently, Sky and Lake were some of the first in my class to start smoking pot.
Any strange Finnish names out there? Any new trendy names out there for Finnish babies? Do the po’ folk in Jakomäki choose any different names them the rich folk in Westend? In the U.S., you can often tell which side of the train tracks someone lives on by seeing their first name.
I grew up in a small country town south of Portland, Oregon. Think, for 18 years before I came here for college, everyone had to get use to Kalevi Kurronen. It would take teachers a good two weeks for them get it somewhat right. We’d get a sub for a day, he’d take roll and get stuck on my name for 5 minutes. Only one teacher (from Minnesota) knew it was Finnish (kudos). The whole city of Canby has been trained to say my name, took them a while but they got it. Know only to find out why my father named my brothers and sister: David, Eric, Todd and Crystal!! I’m in the middle, what the hell! No its cool, chicks in the States dig the name!
Comment by Kalevi Kurronen — Fri, Aug 19th, 2005 @ 11:00 pm
I “suffer” the horrible fate bearing the name ‘Ville’. It’s just so common name and personally I don’t find it interesting at all. Most annoying part is having multiple Villes in the same class room and teacher referring people by their first names. But it could be a lot worse too.
But names don’t really mean a thing here. The same names are used over and over again. Pretty much the only thing you people will assume from the name is your nationality. If you have a weird nme, people will think you are a foreigner.
If anyone is interested in statistical information about Finnish names, the official name service is available here: https://192.49.222.187/Nimipalvelu/default.asp?L=3
On an interesting note, I know the one and only Finnish guy named “Akaki”
Comment by Rithiur — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 1:04 am
My wife and I took a loooooong time to come up with the names for our kid (soon to be plural)
We stuck with Cade (boy) and Addison (girl). We wanted somthing simple yet differnt but I didnt want a kid called Sky or somthing equally stupid. Anyway it seems they are both not so easy for Finns to pronounce mostly because of the phenetic alphabet.
Also my wife chose to change her last name when we got married simply because of the issues you have Kalevi, she was fed up of spelling her name. NO ITS K-A-U-P….
At least being called John you can be obscure googling just my name doesnt really bring up much of me, but lots of Finns I know can be tracked down very easily
Comment by John Evans — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 1:05 am
This American Finn I knew named his son V?¤in?¤m?¶inen.
Poor kid.
Comment by Finnpundit — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 1:23 am
If I had or when I have kids, I’d prefer giving them quite common names. In a way some Finnish tend to think names of Swedish origin are somehow upscale, but nowadays when even CEOs of the largest companies have regular names like Matti, Jorma, Mika and Kalle, it would be ridiculous to argue you’d actually need a foreign sounding name.
Anyway, not too common name is nice either. My name is so common I have a lot of namesakes in Finland, and for example one of them has worked in the same building (but in different company) and our post was mixed up several times. Another Tero Lehto is a day student at the same institute where I study in the evenings. I can only wait they mix up our documents…
Comment by Tero Lehto — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 1:26 am
There has been a trend in the US of making up stupid names and the people who do this are predominantly white. This annoys me to all end along with all the unisex names, names of places and names that are supposed to be last names. My son actually had a kid named “Blade” in his class. These names are seriously irritating.
Also, 2 names you mentioned, Imani and Aaliyah are old Islamic names.
Comment by soyyo — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 4:06 am
There has been a trend in the US of making up stupid names and the people who do this are predominantly white. This annoys me to all end along with all the unisex names, names of places and names that are supposed to be last names. My son actually had a kid named “Blade” in his class. These names are seriously irritating.
Also, 2 names you mentioned, Imani and Aaliyah are old Islamic names.
Comment by soyyo — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 4:06 am
And there are way too many Coltons and Connors out there. Why pick a trendy name? So there will be million more of the same in your kid’s school? Another one I hate is Jaden, boys and girls are named this.
Maybe I am not in the majority, but pick a name that makes it evident the sex of the kid and does not sound contrived.
Comment by soyyo — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 4:11 am
In greek catholic tradition they used to name child after the saint, whose day was closest to the child’s birthday. So my grand aunts were Serafina, Paraskeva, Paula and Anastasia.
Comment by Antti (the red neck one) — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 12:45 pm
And there are way too many Coltons and Connors out there. Why pick a trendy name?
I’m not a fan of this new wave of American first names that sound like last names. Colton, Connor, Madison, Tanner, Logan…
Comment by Phil — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 2:28 pm
One thing I don’t understand in America is then those families that *don’t* invent any names. I mean USA is the only place you have jr. or IIIrds… And I knew a King Earl Bishop III (who was white)
Comment by Hank W. — Sat, Aug 20th, 2005 @ 4:00 pm
You’ll find some pretty interesting data on Finnish names here:
https://192.49.222.187/Nimipalvelu/default.asp?L=1
You can trace everything there. My personal favourites are hunting for people probably named after foreign soap opera characters (seems like The Bold & the Beautiful produced a few Ridges, loads of Brookes and a Thorn…) and for males with female names or vice versa (let’s see… the last woman named Jaakko is between 75 and 95 years old, if she’s still alive).
Comment by jaakkeli — Sun, Aug 21st, 2005 @ 1:35 am
Foreign names are annoying, as people don’t pronounce them as such. I knew a 100% Finnish “Bob”, everyone called him “Popi”.
There are variations of common names. Like, Selmi for Selma. There are also names such as Kiia or Akileena, featuring unusual combinations of common elements. Also, common nouns that are also names are found, such as Mies “man”, Pilvi “cloud”, Aamu “morning”, and so on. Interestingly, the name “Ilta” is immutable in consonant gradation, while the common noun is not; ilta – illan, Ilta – Iltan.
Traditional Finnish names are also interesting. Ukko-Mies (“married man”, but originally from Ukko, thundergod, and Mies) is, in principle, allowed.
But, the Finnish law on names is much more strict than in the USA. For example, you cannot give a last name as a first name. This obviously produces ambiguities, such as Niini. Then, you cannot give a non-Finnish name with an obscure spelling, if the kid’s mothertongue is going to be Finnish, and so on. The name must be a name; it cannot be a common noun, trademark or such.
It’s of course so that the rules are applied flexibly, but the point is, that names are not toys.
Comment by sepisp — Sun, Aug 21st, 2005 @ 2:08 am
If Bob and I have a boy, we have decided to name him Steele. That will pretty much guarentee that he will never get beat up and that he’ll become a pro wrestler or a death metal guitarist. Either way, I think having a unique name is awesome as long as people won’t accidentally call you “shithead”.
Comment by Jessie — Sun, Aug 21st, 2005 @ 6:18 am
sepisp – your comments are most informative, in terms of Finnish regulations. But what was the case with Niini? What’s the big deal?
I still see naming children as something that’s a private matter, for parents, and not for the state. But I also remember this talk-show host in the eighties in America making fun about this couple somewhere who had named their twin sons: Pete and Repeat.
It’s not up to us to judge, or call for the State to intervene. Let the family deal with it; perhaps it was a vehicle for mirth and bonding, – or perhaps it wound up perpetuating a generation gap, or worse. We can always take comfort in the notion that names can also be jettisoned, by court order, if we wish, both in Europe and the US. And if that’s not possible, nicknames will do.
Comment by Finnpundit — Sun, Aug 21st, 2005 @ 7:20 am
My pet name-peeve is when people with extremely common and average last names like Laine, Korhonen, and Mattila strive for “originality” by giving their kids exotic foreign names. I know of a little girl who was baptised Christine Eve Elisabeth Laine. Her parents were completely Finnish, she had no foreign or even Swedish-speaking relatives or ancestry that anybody knew of.
I like good old Finnish names. My mother’s second name is Tellervo, after the ancient Finnish goddess of the forest, and I think it’s beautiful. I would love to give that name to my possible future daughter.
Speaking of weirdly spelled American names, I once met an American girl whose name was pronounced “Hillary” but spelled “Hilleri”. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that “hilleri” mean “ferret” in Finnish.
Comment by Anzi — Sun, Aug 21st, 2005 @ 12:06 pm
“It???s not up to us to judge, or call for the State to intervene. Let the family deal with it; perhaps it was a vehicle for mirth and bonding, – or perhaps it wound up perpetuating a generation gap, or worse”
There are so many people out there who aren’t ready for parenting. I think it is states job to protect kids from their parents and name is so important thing that you cannot let people to give names like XXXOOOCCXZZ (someore really tried that!).
State already protects kids from molestation, abuse etc (or at least tries). Giving idiotic name to baby will 100% sure lead to problems in kindergargen.
Comment by Syltty — Mon, Aug 22nd, 2005 @ 8:48 am
I think it is states job to protect kids from their parents and name is so important thing that you cannot let people to give names like XXXOOOCCXZZ (someore really tried that!).
Yeah, but those completely bizarra names are extremely rare. Some kids get like 20 first names, but by everyone just shortens it to one name. If we start banning certain names, who is going to decide what is an acceptable name? Some wacko politicians might think that Muslim names (for instance) or ridiculous and should be banned.
Comment by Phil — Mon, Aug 22nd, 2005 @ 8:55 am
I think quite a few white southern Americans have pretty oddball names. Do you know anywhere else where men have such affected sounding monikers as Huey (Long), Lyndon (Johnson), Gore (Vidal), Truman (Capote), Elvis (the Pelvis), and Strom (Thurmond)?
And, although I don’t think he’s a southerner, what about Newt? That’s my pick as the worst male first name of the 20th century.
Comment by Social Democracy Now — Thu, Jan 26th, 2006 @ 11:09 am
Social Democracy Now: Gore Vidal was born in New York and raised in Washington DC. Yes, his grandfather was Senator Gore from Oklahoma and this is why he is called Gore. But a last name of, say, a grandfather showing up in the first name of a baby is not uncommon in the United States and surely not only a sign of Southern ancestry.
Lyndon Johnson was called Lyndon because his father had a friend whose last name was Linden. LBJ’s mother said calling the son after this friend would be ok as long as the spelling would be changed to “Lyndon”.
Newt Gingrich, one of the best known Southern politicians (he served ten two-year terms for a Georgia district in the House of Representatives) of the latest years was indeed born Newton McPherson in the Northern state of Pennsylvania:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newt_Gingrich
Comment by Helsinkian — Thu, Jan 26th, 2006 @ 12:15 pm
We named our son, Finn, as a Celtic name meaning “fair”. We were wondering how many children from Finland might be named Finn.
Live from Miami,
Irish and Scotish parents of Finn
Comment by Finn Raeside — Tue, Jul 4th, 2006 @ 10:37 pm
IS A WERIDO!
Comment by BERNARD L`ALLIER — Wed, Sep 6th, 2006 @ 1:14 pm
I know some on who worked in a hospital and there was a baby with that name there. I wonder if its the same kid or if there are alot of other shithead’s out there.
Comment by MBG — Sun, Nov 5th, 2006 @ 6:32 pm
I’m one of the 15 Haiders in Finland. I was born here, have grown up with that name and have only met one other Haider in Finland. Pretty weird, luckaly it works with the Finnish phonetics. I moved to the UK at one point and suprisingly people there had more trouble with it, they were sure whether to prounounce the A and E as A or E, so sometimes my name would be pronounced “Heider” sometimes “Haidar”. I lived in North London which is full of Turks and other Middle Easteners, so the name was for more common there.
I personally have problems remembering Finnish names, Even though I grew up around them. For some reason I just dismiss finnish names. It’s ignorance at its finest. For some reason I sometimes have trouble connecting names to faces, I have to meet finns a couple of times before I remember their names… This only happens with finnish people. Maybe it’s just how monotonous and common they all seem to be.
Comment by Haider — Mon, Apr 23rd, 2007 @ 11:10 pm
I know of a set of twin girls who are named Shithead and Shiteater (pronounced sha-teed and sha-teeter). They are black. According to the nurse who was present when the mother was discussing these names, she thought it was funny and was laughing while she filled out the birth certificates in the hospital. Where are Child Protective Services? This is child abuse, plain and simple. I also know of a little girl named Princess Udakidd! Ridiculous!
Comment by cindy — Sun, May 20th, 2007 @ 3:39 am
I’m an American looking for a name for my son that will honor the Finnish heritage on my mother’s side of the family. Oddly, though Americans are apt to name their kids some pretty stupid or insipid names, there is still somewhat of a stigma against very foreign-sounding names. Especially for boys–I think people are more accepting of exotic names for girls. I’d like a name that sounds masculaine and has an obvious pronounciation. Someone help me!
Comment by Kerry — Wed, Jun 20th, 2007 @ 4:20 pm
(My pet name-peeve is when people with extremely common and average last names like Laine, Korhonen, and Mattila strive for “originality†by giving their kids exotic foreign names. I know of a little girl who was baptised Christine Eve Elisabeth Laine. Her parents were completely Finnish, she had no foreign or even Swedish-speaking relatives or ancestry that anybody knew of.
I like good old Finnish names. My mother’s second name is Tellervo, after the ancient Finnish goddess of the forest, and I think it’s beautiful. I would love to give that name to my possible future daughter.
Speaking of weirdly spelled American names, I once met an American girl whose name was pronounced “Hillary†but spelled “Hilleriâ€Â. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that “hilleri†mean “ferret†in Finnish.)
Um well i live in canada and i am of finnish decent. my last name Laine which ive been told is common in finland, is not a common surname here, but is a common first name , but its not pronounced the Finnish way but english “lane” My father got fed up with people misspronouncing Laine that our family pronouces it “Lane” now instead of Laine. it was not a problem in the past as he grew up in a finn colony……but there are very very weird names…..i knew a kid whose name was Winter…..perhaps appropriate in describing climate , but not a name….also my first name is soooo common it makes me sick, i wish i has a more original name.
Comment by Kaitlyn Alma Laine — Fri, Aug 17th, 2007 @ 4:48 am
BULLSHIT IS UR NAME DAMN UR LAME
Comment by SERGIO.M.B — Tue, Sep 25th, 2007 @ 11:58 pm
Shithead is an urban legend. It’s not true. A friend of a friend’s cousin’s former room-mate’s old boss said that his 2nd cousin’s ex-wife from his first marriage worked in a hospital and she heard from a nurse on a different floor who’s friend worked in another state and she told her about a baby being born and named Shithead…
Comment by casual observer — Thu, Nov 1st, 2007 @ 10:31 am
Casual Observer, Though we’d like to think this stuff is made-up, it’s NOT. Sadly, children, sometimes illiterate children, name sometimes illegitimate babes. Many have made an effort to educate these parents (yeah, I’m sorry, they’re all negro) that these names handicap the individual saddled with them. In the US we have all sorts of legislation to prevent discrimination (on the basis of race) but these names effectivly negate any effort. I have had students who’s LEGAL name have been: Shithead (pronounced Shahtheed); Nosmo King (Jones); Dequalon; Darvon; Qualude; Charmin; A-Jax; Camry; Lexus; Montego; DeVille; Fleetwood; Riviera; Cadillac;
dom Perignon; Hennessy; Courvaier; Shanaynay; Monchico; Mister; Monte Carlo; Carpathian; Marquis; Trojan; Summer’s Eve; Suave; don Ho; Shaneequa; Shenetta; Desietta; Kotex; Platex; Victoria’s Secret; Bluetooth; Jaguar; Devontae; Sharquavion; the list is endless. I do know twins called Male and Female (pronounced Malie and Femalie. I appreciate good old fashioned Christian names but parents should have the right to name thier kid shithead if that’s what they want…my kid changed his name (my name) as soon as he was old enough to make other kids comply with his wishes.
Comment by Texican — Fri, Nov 30th, 2007 @ 3:38 am
i think calling your kid wyatt is child abuse. a wyatt would have no future other than remaining locked up in his parents cellar, until he is 18 and adopts the social status of sewer mutant
Comment by Anonymous — Sun, Dec 23rd, 2007 @ 12:12 am
I have to weigh in. Male and female were students at my school. (The parent thought the hospital had named them for her; really she was reading the card on their bassinettes that identified them as a boy and girl…yes, the staff had a good laugh about that one.) My good friend’s husband is a dentist and Shithead (pronounced Sha-theed) is a patient in his practice. And lastly, Nosmokin (pronounced Nas-mo-kin) was a baby born in my congregation. When I first heard the name, I thought it was a Muslim/Islamic/Arabic name or perhaps a combination of two such names. Imagine my surprise when the father explained that he’d been looking at the No Smoking sign in the hospital and decided to drop the “g” and give the baby a name. So unfortunately, these names are not urban legends. I wish they were…don’t you think Shithead has gotten tired of the snickers and the explanations surrounding his name?
Comment by Black Barbie — Sun, Jan 20th, 2008 @ 9:39 am
shithead is not an urban legend…my dad, not my dad’s uncles cousins brother etc etc., my dad, was behind a guy named shithead on line at a bank. the conversation went like this
“whats your name”
“shithead”
“how do u spell that”
“S-H-I-T-H-E-A-D”
my dad, to himself, paraphrased: WTF???
Comment by aj grands — Thu, Feb 21st, 2008 @ 5:39 am
I knew a “Bama” and a “Rebel” (sisters) when I was in high school
Comment by tigerbill — Wed, Mar 19th, 2008 @ 12:28 am
IF ANYONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE THE SHITHEAD OR ORANJELLO BS, PLEASE CHECK OUT THE SNOPES LINK:
http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp
OR AT LEAST GOOGLE THE NAMES + URBAN LEGEND. THEY’VE BEEN URBAN LEGENDS FOR 20 YEARS AND THEY HAVE NEVER SHOWN UP ON A CENSUS. THIS IS HOW IT HAPPENS:
Someone, somewhere, makes this up. That person — we’ll call them person A — is untrustworthy, but another person — person B — is a bit gullible and believes them anyway. So they repeat it. Person C isn’t as gullible, but doesn’t realize how gullible person A is, and besides, the story is JUST TOO GOOD.
Gradually, this gets more complicated so that by the time Person F hears it, it’s too many steps to remember, so he’ll shorten it to “This happened to person E.” After all, Person E told him about it. It is human nature to decrease our number of levels of separation from an event. Eventually, it gets to someone nice and trustworthy, and they aren’t intentionally lying to you. They just decreased the number of levels of separation. They say it happens to someone they knew, when in truth, they’d been told it happened to a friend of a friend, and even THAT friend of a friend had undergone the same process.
So, regardless of whether that person is trustworthy in most matters or not, be aware that repeating this kind of racist trash makes you — and her — look kind of bad.
Comment by Anonymous — Tue, Jun 10th, 2008 @ 8:15 am
I’ve never actually MET Simon Cowell, so I say he’s an urban legend too.
Comment by Jimmy Cracked Corn — Tue, May 5th, 2009 @ 5:34 pm
I don’t see any humur here.
Comment by Clurd — Wed, Jul 15th, 2009 @ 12:57 am
T-ea. Pronounced t DASH ea.
Comment by shi ' thead — Fri, Jul 31st, 2009 @ 8:41 pm
HAHAHAHA! Those three kids live right here! Well…I sure hope there aren’t three other kids out there with those names…
Comment by Cuser — Fri, Oct 23rd, 2009 @ 4:25 pm