Where do the biggest liars in Finland come from? Simple: Lohja and Porvoo. Why exactly? Ask them how long it takes them to commute to Helsinki. They’ll flat out lie to you every single time… “Oh yeah, it’s only like 20 minutes from Lohja!” or “I can be downtown in less than 30 minutes from Porvoo!”. BULLSHIT!! Maybe it is if you’re driving a Ferrari going 180 at 2am in the summertime

It’s all a big conspiracy that every resident of Lohja and Porvoo are a member of. They all move out there to save money on housing cause they were all told it’s just 20 minutes away from the city. So they move out there, discover it’s like two hours in the car each day, then realize they just make big fools of themselves, then lie and tell people it takes them just 20 minutes to cover up their huge mistake.

Other liars in Finland: People in who think Tampere is a nicer city than Turku or Helsinki. People in Vantaa who claim it’s a nice place to live. And people like me in Espoo who claim it’s a “city” (it is Finland’s second largest city haven’t you heard?)

…what other liars are there in Finland?

Happy New Year!! And best wishes from Finnish politicians who’ve rang in the New Year with higher taxes and stricter regulations…

- Taxation will pump up the price of gasoline by 5 cents a litre, and diesel by 5 and a half cents. On average, motorists can expect to spend up to 60 euros more on fuel.

- The price of bus tickets is also expected to rise by 5.2 percent, while long-distance train tickets will cost on average 2.9 percent more.

- Sending snail mail will also a bit cost more in the new year. Mailing a package will cost 7 percent more, unless it weighs less than 50 grams

- Prime or base interest rates will rise to 4.75 percent, up from the 4.25 percent level of the last six months.

- Television commercials for alcoholic beverages are now banned from television screens between 7.00 am and 8.00 pm, and are forbidden in cinemas during movies for patrons under the age of 18.

Gee, thanks politicians! And here’s the real kicker, no more discounts on alcohol, a 12-pack will cost the same as if you’re buying 12 individual beers. This means I’ll be buying more imports instead of saving money on shitty Finnish beer…

- Bulk discounts on multiple packs of alcoholic beverages are a thing of the past. The practice of outdoor advertising of other discounted alcoholic drinks such as cheaper drinks offered during a “happy hour” is also against the law.

And what is quite ironic - cold, dreary, suicidal Finland is banning “Happy Hour”. Finnish politicians have taken away a restaurant/pub’s freedom to lower prices of their products in order to compete. We had a couple happy hours per day from 4 to 6, but now it’s unhappiness in Finland 24/7.

Let’s see - the leftist Social Democrats liberalized alcohol under their administration and the right-wing Kokoomus have tightened regulations. I’m definitely a lefty.