This is the kind of news you read in the newspapers on and off “Three football players accused of rape”. Then you read how the judge threw a book at them. But thats in America, so really…

Wait up now – actually we do have “American football” here and we do get players come in from the US and we had three football players accused of rape.

Well, this is Finland so the judges don’t throw books. As the rape wasn’t aggravated, and the men had been jailed for a significant amount of time (two months), the sentence was guilty on two counts of rape and one assisting, all three men sentenced to 1,8 months probation. Oh and yes theres damages to be paid to the women in question 4500 euros each. Somehow I find it slightly bizzarre if they’d run out of the house and pushed over someone who broke their hip, thats worth 8400 euros.

I somehow have in inkling thought if these guys had been back “at home” they might not have gotten off with 3000 euros and two months in jail.

But then again theres the Finnish guy in Brazil facing 18 years for killing his girlfriend. He should’ve come home to strangle her, might have gotten off with 3000 euros and two months in jail.

Ilta-Sanomat and other evening newspapers are at their yearly exposé again:

So do you want to know who is who in Finland? Its all there. Eat the rich.

I was expecting the outcome of the votes of confidence, but not quite the farce. There were two statements on the floor, the one made by Social Democrats requiring the Prime Minister to resign which was voted out and then another one by Christian Democrats which then both the SD and the Left Alliance abstained from. There were a few colorful speeches though. The Left Alliance’s whip made a speech deriding the Greens giving their unanimous support to the Prime Minister regarding the “pile of planks” and suggested they’re nesting in it. The Prime Minister couldn’t help giggling himself silly but the Green minister was not amused.

The pile of planks revealed by YLE hasn’t caused much laughter otherwise. The Prime Minister is actually quite annoyed about YLE and its timing of the allegations. Meanwhile the Centre party is facing investigations into its foundations. Now its bad when the ombudsman investigates you, worse you get investigated by the police, but total panic when the tax office joins in. And the other parties aren’t immune to whistleblowing either.

The whole campaign funding scandal is more likely to cause people to become even more apathetic, so it might be in the 2011 elections the “sleeping party” will be the winner.

As I predicted, the election funding scandal has started to get dirtier and dirtier while the government parties are trying to save their respective asses. The prime minister arrived back from the USA quite annoyed and has been giving press monologues – as he does not welcome unprepared questions. However the press and lately YLE have dug up some old shit that while it may not stick, it might be the final thing to draw him under. Meanwhile investigations into the foundations, especially the Nuorisosäätiö have brought forth allegations of corruption in the real estate business and kickbacks of government funding to the Centre party members.

Of course the Centre party leaders are now frantically looking for a way out. All options seem if not bad then worse. As we remember the previous Prime Minister Anneli Jäätteenmäki had to resign in 2003 over the “Irakgate”, so if two Centre party Prime Ministers resign in a row – now that would need some serious image consulting. However as Vanhanen pigheadedly denies any responsibility and generally remains aloof it doesn’t convey any image of a trustworthy politician, rather a squirming worm in a fishook. The old guard such as hard-boiled veteran politician, Minister of Foreign Trade Paavo Väyrynen have kept silent, probably as they have had their share of negative media publicity back in the day.

Tomorrow, Wednesday, the Government will face a vote of confidence over elderly care, and Thursday will be the big show when the government will present its views on the election funding issue and bring forth the new legislation that has been proposed, facing another vote of confidence. Now it will not surprise me at all if the government will get the vote of confidence as the government parties have a majority in Parliament, but if there are enough rebels the scales might dip. Then again the opposition parties, Social Democrats especially, are not in a strong enough position to make it into a coalition government, so even there is a vote of no confidence, the status quo might not necessarily change.

Awaiting more scandals and more squirming.

- UPDATE- The big guns are out 30.9 Vanhanen goes on offensive against YLE over corruption allegations

As we all know Finns have been hugely proud of the “low corruption index”, while on the other hand “everyone knew” the political scene was a pile of manure just sitting there in the back of the yard. The old wisdom said “Shit don’t stink unless you go poking it” and now that shit has hit the fan. I don’t know how much the readership of this blog knows about the intricacies of Finnish politics, or the constitutional dependencies of the president, parliament and the cabinet, but mildly put the government right now is in neck deep, and any move they will make means more trouble.

The whole issue is about election funding – the whole stinkpot started bubbling already in May when it came clear that the legislation over party funding and especially its transparency were so full of loopholes that in principle there were no reprecussions for not disclosing where a politician got the money. Different parties came forward wanting to come clean and at the same time started to make all kinds of “privacy” excuses for not revealing their funding sources. Quite showing the slimy nature of politics the Left League was at first vocal demanding all parties open their books, but after the Left League was asked of their own funding the excuse was “the treasurer is on summer holiday”.

Unlike political scandals usually, this all wasn’t forgotten over the holidays. The parties started divulging their sponsors but the bankruptcy of Nova Group investment company started the domino effect. The investment company had channeled several hundred thousand euros towards the Centre party and the bankruptcy court eventually has sued the Centre party to return the monies as misappropriated assets. The Nova Group’s business dealings and municipal zoning started to raise questions of corruption, but more was to follow. As the different sources of money were investigated, centre party politicians were found to be in leading positions in government organizations and foundations that had then channeled money back to the party coffers. Of course the Prime Minister doesn’t see any troube in this kind of funding.

Now the other parties definitely don’t have unblemished reputations either, after all its a well-known fact the Social Democrats get huge funding out of the different unions’ and the Swedish Peoples Party from its rich cultural foundations. Which isn’t technically wrong if the purpose of the foundation or organization in the rules is actually to support political parties. Meanwhile the different opposition parties are starting to demand for the cabinet to resign and even a new early parliamentary election. Which provides an interesting dilemma – the Prime Minister, neck deep in the scandal is highly unlikely to call for a new election as his own party would definitely lose. The President’s powers have been curtailed, so she cannot dissolve the parliament either. And for the parties now in government, their outlooks of getting to form a new government looks slightly bad. The professor of public law from the University of Jyväskylä dryly stated that “in a Western Democracy the government would have resigned already”

The funding issues have caused several government organizations starting from the parliamentary ombudsman to start investigations regarding party funding, and it seems there might be more and more revelations as the weeks pass. So far there has been outrage over the fact that blatant tax evasion creative tax planning seems to be rife, and the secrecy of the funding has raised the question wasn’t the government-paid party support money supposedly put in place so that parties could function without dodgy support. There will be a lot more shit hitting the fan before the politicians can withdraw back to their cabinet schemings, so if the opposition manages to pull off a vote of no confidence we might well be looking for some interesting campaigning already this winter and not have to wait for 2011. Even though the politicians in power are definitely hoping that the shitfan will run out of power next year and the nations’ memory fade any moral outrage by the next. And we all can go sleep again peacefully as “there is no corruption in Finland”.

- UPDATE - The opposition parties made a statement today suggesting the Prime Minister to “make conclusions” over the issue. The Cabinet announced it shall be giving its “Government report to the Parliament” over the election funding issue – after which there shall be a “vote of confidence”. The discussion over the issue is still waiting the PM who is at the moment in the USA attending an United Nations Climate Change Conference.

New laws being passed. A twenty euro fine for public drinking. Should I say “big fucking deal”? As if that would make any change – a bottle of vodka costs a tenner, a case of beer a bit less than the 20 + you get change from the cans. People who can afford to drink won’t feel the sting and the winos don’t pay their fines anyways. Government wisdom at work once again.

And who will be targetted – of course the youth. The law change now allows the police to do an “investigative” bag check to find alcoholic beverages in the possession of under-18 year olds, and spirits in the possession of under 20-year olds. And then promptly pour it down. Remembering my youth the police seemed to allow weed-smoking hippies to do whatever but your crew-cut army guys on leave got targetted. Which was unfair as those draft-dodging hippies and other cretins not going to the army as it hurts their hair seldom make into productive citizens but we had to pay out of our miserable day allowance.

Now the laws passed are aimed to curtail underage drinking which of course is a good thing. Then again the more draconian laws passed like in the USA – the end result is that kids start using dope as its easier to get. Lets face it – kids want to get messed up, but I rather have them swigging cider than sniffing glue. Its more to do with parents and upbringing and social values and mores than availability in the end.

The big “Taxation taskforce” think-tank published a part of its findings yesterday. The HS international edition has a summary.

A working group set up to reform taxation in Finland has set as its goal the establishment of as wide a tax base as possible. In practice this means ending various tax deductions, which allow people to get some types of income tax-free.

Yeah, right, as if I would have seen much tax-free income in my life, let alone deductions.

By expanding the tax base through the elimination of gaps caused by various tax deductions, it is possible to lower the tax rate – the percentage of their income that taxpayers have to pay the state.

Probably by one fraction of a percent. Sounds good but the effects I would like to see.

In addition to eliminating deductions, the working group has agreed that consumption taxes, such as value-added tax, the tax on alcohol, the car tax, the rubbish tax, and the dog tax should be increased.

I’d have a novel idea – instead of rubbish taxes HOW ABOUT CUTTING GOVERNMENT SPENDING?

The controversial blogger and Helsinki councilman Dr. Jussi Halla-aho recieved today a conviction of “breaching the sanctity of religion” i.e. blasphemy. He was sentenced by the Helsinki district court to pay 30 day fines amounting to 330 euros. Dr. Halla-aho has stated he will appeal on the verdict.

Dr. Halla-aho’s blog “Scripta – writings from the sinking west” came under scrutiny during his campaign for Helsinki city council as a nonaligned candidate on the True Finns ticket. Especially the women’s organization of the Green party took offence of his acerbic writings of immigration and multiculturalism. However bad taste is not a crime, which the Green Women found out trying in vain to destabilize Halla-ahos candidacy with frivolous police investigations.

The police took Halla-ahos blog under investigation after the state prosecutors office took interest in the case and the State Prosecutor Jorma Kalske raised two charges, one of “breaching the sanctity of religion” and another one “inciting hatered against a population group” of one blog entry appropriately named “A couple of baits for Mika Illman” (Mika Illman being the state prosecutor who had charged a few people over similar cases perviously). Halla-aho has stated he wanted to show the double standards regarding the treatment of different groups by the courts.

Surprisingly the charge on blasphemy stuck, even though that very law had been regarded as a dead letter since the 1960’s. According to the court “facts or logic do not have significance in religious discussion”. Fine by me, I’ll proclaim Charlie Manson as God and anyone claiming he is a deranged hippie will be charged, Helter Skelter.

The government just managed to get the budget negotiations through. A blast from the past will be the re-introduction of the “candy tax” on sweets and soda. Some fractionally good news is that as of this October the VAT on food is dropping from 17% to 12%. In 2010 however all the VAT will take a 1% hike, so the general VAT is rising to 23%… Could have “gone Nordic” like Sweden where the VAT is 25%. Also in June 2010 the restaurant food VAT will be dropping to 13% being then equal to the percent-added food VAT.

Well it looks like you can start soon forgetting to stock up for the long holidays. The government has gotten through the wrangling over shop opening hours, and the legislation seems to be ending up as follows:
- Shops can be open 12-18 Sundays except on “Holy Days” say like Pentecost.
- Shops smaller than 400 sq.m can be open 24/7 if they so wish.
- However there is also an amendment that small shops in malls may stay closed on Sundays if they so wish.

When the law gets passed and we step into the shopping era is still to be seen… baby steps, still requires a pole vault to be able to buy your Tylenol at 3am at the Siwa.

The Knäckebröddansen:

The nesting season starting, there is a most interesting webcam in the Turku Archipelago pointed at an osprey nest.
http://natureit.net/site/saaksikamera.php
The nest had a pair of eagles squatting earlier in the week, but a single osprey came from the southern climes and seems to be claiming ownership. Depending if the ospreys mate shows up or if the eagles decide to bounce on the smaller bird we might follow either pair nesting.

I don’t know how much the readers follow the Finnish politics and issues, but so far it seems that the old game of “broken telephone” gets even worse when it is transferred from the reality into a newspaper with a political slant, regurgitated, edited and then translated into a foreign language. One of my favorite authors, Mark Twain wrote of this in his short story “Running for Governor” already in 1870, and nothing much has changed since. So you may see headlines of “Finnish politician sued for blasphemy” but I bet the articles are more or less confusing the issues.

There is no confusion that we still retain a paragraph in the Penal Code on “blasphemy”, actually Ch.17 Par. 11: “Breach of the sanctity of religion “(563/1998). Which enables the courts to sentence people on the grounds of “ridiculing what others regard as holy”. Of course in modern times you can laugh at Jesus and God, but can you laugh at Mohammad?

Double standards if you can’t laugh at both equally – and Finland is a land of equality, isn’t it? Then again theres a few other vague subjective laws in the Penal Code that require only that you be accused of them. You don’t have to find a victim for these crimes which makes them perfect to be used in silencing people. There is a law Ch.11 Par8 – “Ethnic agitation” (578/1995) that says “A person who spreads statements or other information among the public where a certain race, a national, ethnic or religious group or a comparable group is threatened, defamed or insulted shall be sentenced for ethnic agitation to a fine or to imprisonment for at most two years.” Which of course is a noble law. Again the question is, are all races, national, ethnic or religious groups or comparable groups equal before the law? For example, can you say that Finns are prone to drunken killing sprees? So if you can say that, can you say that X are prone to robbing passersby and leeching off welfare?

The vocal (or can you say vocal of someone who writes but doesn’t speak much) anti-multiculturalism blogger and aspiring politician Jussi Halla-aho got into the eye of a shitstorm running for the Helsinki city council (he is now among other things supervising the wanking baboons and lethally biting camels in the board of the Korkeasaari Zoo) and now as a result he’s facing court of his blogpost he made in 2006 that questioned the above equality issues. It is quite important to note that the Green Women had no case and no crime to have investigated – not liking someones opinions isn’t enough grounds.

The text “A few baits for Mika Illman” (the state prosecutor) was in fact the *only* one the prosecutor took upon himself to draw charges upon. Can you call that a hook-line-sinker?

On the one hand I find the whole case totally preposterous, as it clearly has a political agenda. Then again “publishing the Mohammad cartoons” issue has been a watershed so the blasphemy part might prove interesting. A part of me though wants Halla-aho to be sentenced for the agitation, so I can sue the ass off anyone claiming Finland is a cold soggy dark place with drunk wifebeaters who have a difficult language.

It was 200 years ago today
Czar Alexander created a nation to stay
Its been going in and out of style
But guaranteed to raise a smile.
So may I introduce to you
The act you’ve known for all these years,
Porvoo Diet and Grand Duchy of Finland.

WE, ALEXANDER THE FIRST,
by the Grace of God

The original is signed under the Supreme Own Hand.
ALEXANDER.

It’s wonderful to be here,
It’s certainly a thrill.

Let me introduce the readers to my favorite Victorian Lady; Ethel Bielliana Harley Tweedie, who travelled the world in the turn of the 20th century and made quite a few popular travel books published under the name “Mrs. Alex Tweedie”. Her book published in 1897 “Through Finland in Carts” is that ages answer to Lonely Planet and Berlitz guides. The book is readable online at www.openlibrary.org that is a virtual treasure trove of literature.

But lets get back to Mrs. Tweedie and Finland. She is in a sense a very modern Lady, as it seems its been over 112 years since she was here and foreigners still observe similar things. So I guess its really not worth whining over some things as its been a hundred years and nothings changed. Of course – some things have changed immensely, but some things just do not change.

Like the fact we’re at the arse-end of Europe and nobodys heard of us.

No one ever dreamed of going to Finland apparently. Nevertheless, Finland is not the home of barbarians, as some folk imagine, neither do Polar bears walk continually about the streets, nor reindeer pull sledges in summer

Like we’re a bit silent and obtuse.

Nothing excites a Finn. Although he is very patriotic he cannot lightly rise to laughter or descend to tears ; his unruffled temperament is, perhaps, one of the chief characteristics of his strange nature. ……

They are a grave, serious people, who understand a joke even less than the Scotch, while such a thing as chaff is absolutely unintelligible to them. Life to the Finns seems a very serious matter which can be only undertaken after grave thought and much deliberation. They lose much pleasure by their seriousness. They sing continually, but all their music is sad; they dance sometimes, but the native dances are seldom boisterous as in other lands. They read much and think deeply, for both rich and poor are wonderfully well educated ; but they smile seldom, and look upon jokes and fun as contemptible.

And yeah, FINNS STARE!

But the stolidity of a Finn is always remarkable, and the appearance of strange English- women in somewhat unusual attire appeared really to fascinate the gentleman, who neither moved nor spoke, only simply stared.

Not to mention they ask WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

The peasant asks where you come from the moment he sees you are a stranger, and the better-class folk soon turn the traveller in their midst inside out with questions. They ask not only “Where do you come from ?” but, ” Where are you going ? ” What is your business? “

And the language has always been easy.

The language is intensely difficult to learn, for it has sixteen cases, a fact sufficient to appal the stoutest heart.

And the students wear those funny white caps.

All the students of both sexes wear the most charming cap. In shape it closely resembles a yachting cap ; the top
is made of white velvet, the snout of black leather, and the black velvet band that encircles the head is ornamented in front
by a small gold badge emblematic of the University. No one dare don this cap, or at least not the badge, until he has passed his matriculation examination.

And Finns are ugly, fat and drink a lot.

The Finns, though intellectually most interesting, are not as a rule attractive in person. Generally small of stature, thickset, with high cheek-bones, and eyes inherited from their Tartar-Mongolian ancestors, they cannot be considered good-looking; while the peculiar manner in which the blonde male peasants cut their hair is not becoming to their sunburnt skins, which are generally a brilliant red, especially about the neck where it appears below the light, fluffy, downy locks. Fat men are not uncommon ; and their fatness is too frequently of a kind to make one shudder, for it resembles dropsy, and is, as a rule, the outcome of liqueur drinking, a very pernicious habit, in which many Finlanders indulge to excess. There are men in Suomi—dozens of them—so fat that no healthy Englishman could ever attain to such dimensions ; one of them will completely occupy the seat of an Isvoschtschic, while the amount of adipose tissue round his wrists and cheeks seems absolutely incredible when seen for the first time, and one wonders how any chair or carriage can ever bear such a weight. Inordinately fat men are certainly one of the least pleasing of Finland’s peculiarities.

Not forgetting that Finns apparently never have had any fashion sense.

Top hats seemed specially favoured by Finnish gentlemen. Flannel shirts and top hats are, to an English mind, incongruities; but in Suomi fashion smiles approvingly on such an extraordinary combination. At the various towns, therefore, mashers strolled about attired in very bright-coloured flannel shirts, turned down flannel collars, trimmed with little bows of silken cord with tassels to fasten them at the neck, and orthodox tall hats.

And theres no decent cuppa.

The old market folk all drink coffee, or let us be frank at once and say chicory, for a really good cup of coffee is almost unknown in Finland, whereas chicory is grownlargely and drunk everywhere, the Finlander believing that the peculiar bitter taste they know and love so well is coffee. Pure coffee, brewed from the berry, is a luxury yet to be discovered by the Finlander.

Finns are racists of course.

But it has its advantages, as the passport rigorously keeps anarchists, socialists, Jews, and beggars out of Suomi.

And the TAX RECORDS ARE PUBLIC – which comes as a surprise… to whom?

Very few persons are rich in Finland according to English lights, but many are very comfortably off. It would be almost impossible there to live beyond one’s income, or to pretend to have more than is really the case, for when the returns are sent in for the income tax, the income of each individual is published. In January every year, in the Helsingfors newspapers, rows and rows of names appear, and opposite them the exact income of the owner.

Apart from cultural and ethnographic observations, Mrs. Tweedie goes on to a thorough analysis of the economic and political situation of the Grand Duchy towards the end of the book. She is amazed of the equality of women, the fact that women are studying in the university and riding bicycles, she writes pages on the Finnish education system – sound familiar, that?

There is no sex in Finland, men and women are practically equals, and on that basis society is formed. Sex equality has always been a characteristic of the race, as we find from the ancient Kalevala poem.

I warmly recommend the book as a read, it also has descriptions of a past world that is no more. And some things still are – someone travelling here should not be “shocked” of these “Finnish things” – mind you if she observed something 112 years ago – it is not exactly any news over here.