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             Politics, current events, culture - In Finland & United States

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Which Finnish political party should I join?

Tags: Culture,How-to,The Welfare State — Author: @ 11:40 pm

With over seven political parties in parliament (eight to be exact) and many obscure small parties, choosing a political party can be overwhelming – especially since the differences between each are so minute. Here’s a quick run-down of each party to help you decide…

National Coalition Party (Kokoomus) – The Conservatives promise to lower your taxes! With some of the highest taxes in the world, you’ll quickly come to realize that these people are assholes.

Centre Party (Keskusta) – Do you live on a farm? Do you enjoy small town life? Do you distrust the EU? Then the Centre Party is for you, hillbilly! Life was certainly better when we all milked cows for a living, wasn’t it?

Social Democrats (SDP) -Lenin, Guevara, and Marx were all great thinkers, weren’t they? If you answered “yes” to that question, than the Social Democrats are for you, comrade. Now shorten those work weeks and wonder why you don’t get paid enough. Strike!!

Swedish People’s Party (RKP) – Is Swedish your mother tongue? ‘Nuff said, this party is yours. Amazing how everyone who speaks the same language is expected to share the same political beliefs.

True Finns (Perussuomalaiset) – Foreigners sure are ruining the greatest nation in the world, aren’t they?? If so, then this is your party, but if you read this blog and you can speak English and you’re not a complete idiot…they’re probably ot for you.

Christian Democrats (KD) – Do you have a special relationship with Jesus? And do you live out in the middle of nowhere because the devil resides in large cities as well as your television set? Hallelujah you’ve found your party!

Green Party (Vihreat) – Are you young, idealistic and fanatical about mother Earth? Then come share a joint with these hippies.

Left Alliance (Vasemistoliitto) – But what about all the good things the Soviet Union did! Right?? Left!!

Liberal Party (Liberaalit) – Are you a confused, twisted, and borderline psychopathic male between the ages of 16 and retarded? You’ve found your home.

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    It is ***IMPERATIVE*** that you join the ***TRUE FINNS***!

  • http://www.salutfinlande.net nana

    As we would say in French, “tout le monde en prend pour son grade”. No idea how that would translate in English, but well done ! Concise, funny and informative guide ;-)

  • me

    Well done Phil!
    I wish you could form a government by giving each party a ministry or a service. for example:
    Perus: foreign affairs
    Green: industry and trading
    Kesk: culture or regional development
    RKP: defence or interior ministry


  • http://holocaustdenialvideos.com Prussian Blue

    Why are the Liberaalit the crazy ones?

    This all seems better than the American one-party system. Maybe I’ll move to Finland. Any snow this year?

  • http://antti-juhani.kaijanaho.fi/newblog/ Antti-Juhani Kaijanaho

    Just curious: what is the order of the parties based on?

  • Kastalia

    What about the Pirate Party? Bunch of nerds etc.? Also, there is Muutos 2010 or 2011 or whatever, it’s Persu with a focus and without the ‘Thou shall not be gay’. Would either of those suit you?

  • http://www.finlandforthought.net Phil

    Why are the Liberaalit the crazy ones?

    Meet a Finnish liberal and you’ll find out. They’re fanatical about their own brand of liberalism, which somehow includes hatred towards foreigners and trying to get parts of Eastern Finland back from Russia.

  • http://www.finlandforthought.net Phil

    Just curious: what is the order of the parties based on?

    Order in which they popped into my head.

  • majava

    Piraattipuolue! They would have my vote, if I only could… And my rural home town is too small to have any candidate. So no voting for me at all. All I can do is hope that they will run for the next Europarliament elections.

  • Anonymous

    Hank’s a True Finn – 100% GUARANTEED!!!!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Notice that the liberaalit are what you’d call a libertarian on the other side of the Atlantic and are the only ones that aren’t afraid to say that market economy is a good thing and big government is bad. They haven’t been in parliament for some years, though

  • Xenophobic Carelian

    Phil: welcome to check out the liberaalimafia (yes, “the liberal mob”, the naming’s just part of being crazy) in Oluthuone Kaisla in Helsinki on every second Thursday at 18:00 (next one’s on Jan 28th) – an informal gathering of people who don’t like to tell other people how they should live their lives. I think you’ll find out we get well along with foreigners and don’t even fantasize about having another war :)

  • http://www.finlandforthought.net Phil

    I think you’ll find out we get well along with foreigners and don’t even fantasize about having another war

    Does Mikko Ellilä have a sudden change of heart? :-)

  • http://campaignforliberty.org minarchist

    The Liberaalit would be the best party, but, maybe like America’s Libertarians, they first need a good frontman like Ron Paul.

  • http://svenskfinland.wordpress.com Jonas G

    Everyone who speaks Swedish certainly does not share the same political beliefs which is why SFP (RKP in Finnish) is the broadest church of Finnish political parties (by necessity). However, the membership does share an important common goal of seeking to ensure that the rights of the Swedish-speaking population are maintained. Unfortunately, as a minority we don’t have the luxury to form a multitude of parties based on other ideological matters, as we’re stronger and heard only when together. That said, certainly not all Swedish-speakers support SFP. Significant numbers support the SDP which have a very functional Swedish party district. They are particularly strong in Western Nyland/Uusimaa among Swedish-speaking Finns. Far less significant numbers can be found in many of the other parties – although, sometimes they rise to considerable notoriety, e.g. Alexander Stubb, Harry Bogomoloff.

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    Barack Hussein Obama is now in the dustbin of history,along with his corrupt Democratic party,after historic Republican win for Senator Ted Kennedy’s senate seat!
    Massachusetts sent a message to B.O.Obama that we the people of Massachusetts reject the Marxist,Socialist agenda that our
    ***FEARLESS LEADER*** is trying to foist 0n the
    ***U.S. of KKK-A.***! three cheers for ameriKKKa democracy! ;-)

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg
  • http://freodom.blogspot.com Michael Halila

    Equating Mikko Ellilä and Finnish liberals is like expecting every American you meet to be a 400-pound, uneducated Texan. As Finns do.
    And besides, Ellilä hangs out with the racist party, erm, sorry, “Muutos 2010″.

  • majava

    It’s muutos 2011 (not 2010) and they can be found here:

  • Voiko vitutukseen kuolla?

    Why wait until 2011 when you can have new, improved “Muutos 2009″ under Uncle Paavo? Y’all KNOW things were better in the Kekkonen/Väyrynen era – none of them fucking foreigners stinking up the place, for starters. And that there bilateral trade with the Russkies made us into the economic powerhouse of Europe.

    Cometh the hour, cometh the Pave! :)

  • http://leaderboard08.blogspot.com/ Helsinkian

    I guess it’s hard to equate the Liberals with anyone since they don’t have any political representation anywhere in this country. They lack the one thing that makes a political party, i.e. voters.

    Marx, Lenin and Guevara belong to the idols of some other party than the Social Democrats – the Communists. There is such a party in Finland even if they are not represented in Parliament. There is a rap star in Helsinki who usually runs on a Communist ticket – he actually said that his ideology is what the Social Democrats stood for a 100 years ago, and he’s not a Communist, actually, but since he feels no other party represents what he stands for, he thinks the Communists are the best choice for him. Even he said most of the things the Soviet Union did were bad and I guess that’s what many in Left Alliance think today, too. Many of the people who actually back in the day defended *everything* the Soviets did and were hard-core Communists, have defected the hard left long ago and seek their luck all over the place. Björn Wahlroos, for one, became a hard-core capitalist and made his career in the banking sector. It’s not fair to equate today’s Leftists with these people as they mostly have a different agenda.

    The Christian Democrats may have some of their strongholds in rural areas but the tv preachers are these days predicting that there will be more people with hard core religious beliefs in the cities than anywhere else in the near future. So they are actually counting on a vocal minority of citydwellers to carry the fundamentalist political standpoint to the future. Rural areas are still slowly following the previous trend of the cities and becoming more secular, while in the cities people are more losing touch with each other and everybody is trying to profile themselves in some way or the other. Being a very religious person is more and more becoming a brave individual choice, as in the past it was the norm that people in Finland tried to accommodate themselves to and hence a typical countryside thing.

    True Finns used to be a party for the uneducated people with not so many language skills. This stereotype is wrong, there are plenty of highly educated people in that movement nowadays, so much so that they risk to lose their common touch. My guess is it’s the same for them as for the Christian Democrats, nationalism like religion is no longer the norm, it’s a choice people make, so even their future is in the cities where they live next door to people who hold completely opposite beliefs to them, a fact that neither they nor their neighbors get to know, since people barely say “hi” to each other in the modern cities.

  • http://q-funk.iki.fi Martin-Éric

    As I recently blogged, I’ve come to consider all Finnish political parties as a bunch of hypocrites. While it its true that each party has one or two candidates that at least partially make sense, by the time you meet them in person, you cannot help but conclude that the fools are running the asylum and that no single party has the best interests of the average citizen in mind.

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    Scott Brown the re-pube-i-can fires the shot heard around the world,by wining in ***MASS-A-FUCKIN’-CHEWS-ITS***!!
    Hitler not so happy!

  • http://leaderboard08.blogspot.com/ Helsinkian

    Infinndel, is MA your state? When I saw Scott Brown declaring his victory, I thought, man, this guy reminds me of George W. Bush, like a carbon copy, really. But Bush’s father was born in MA and his grandfather was senator for Connecticut, so people in New England should look like him and act like him, I guess.

    The election in MA was really something, the Republicans managed to brand Martha Coakley as anti-Red Sox, anti-Catholic and anti-pick up trucks. That’s the most cleverly executed demolition job anyone has ever done of a politician’s character. All the GOP needed to do was to quote whatever she said and twist it a little. The Dems were so not prepared for any of it as they thought the voters don’t even consider other options in the Bay State.

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    @24… Yes,I live in Mass-a-fuckin’-chews-its! I voted for Scott Brown.
    I identify myself as a Finnish-ameriKKKan. All of us right wing nuts are doing heavy celebrating,because Barrack Hussein Obama is ***TOAST***! ;-)

  • nokkk

    “Finnish” American?
    But if you don’t even manage to copy the Finnish words…

  • http://theamericanapocalypse.blogspot.com/ nova


    You think it is bad now? I have a vision for you. At least for America. It is not a happy ending one either. At least not for the next couple generations.

  • Hank W.

    You forgot:

    Köyhien asialla
    Rauhan ja Sosialismin puolesta – Kommunistinen Työväenpuolue
    Suomen kommunistinen puolue
    Suomen Senioripuolue
    Suomen työväenpuolue

    So theres three communist parties, the golden age club, pirates, poor people and independence to choose from as well

  • Hank W.

    @10 naah, they’re too country yokle for me

  • http://knizzlefoshizzle.blogspot.com Larjmarj

    Jeez Phil sounds like despite the options, there isn’t really much to choose from as far as middle ground.

    As for the recent win in Mass. It’s the usual knee jerk reaction to people not seeing things getting done in Washington. I can’t agree with everything the POTUS has done but I dare say he’s a damn sight better than Bush or McCain and certainly Palin.
    By the way IJD..you don’t like the idea of paying for someone else’s health care? Guess what you already do in the way of higher costs for insurance, medical tests, surgeries and procedures, not to mention the astronomical cost of pharmaceuticals. The only other option for these people is to apply for medicaid which you also pay for though your tax dollars.
    So the two choices really are to pay for a system that’s broken beyond belief and keep giving money to the big insurance and drug companies or try to change things to a maybe less than perfect but more equitable system. Unfortunately Repugnicans never offer any real solutions, they just point their fingers and stomp their feet. An empty can makes the most noise.

  • Voiko vitutukseen kuolla?

    And they really don’t come no emptier than our Infinndel. He’s an intellectual vacuum.

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    Suomi army involved in genocide against Afghanistan native
    population! ***OH-NO! WHAT COULD GO WRONG!?***

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    OH and by the way,@31…***SUKSI VITTUN!***

  • Voiko vitutukseen kuolla?

    See what I mean? It’s really unkind to mock the afflicted, but a good job he stays over that side of the Atlantic. I think he’d get teased as a retard over here. I mean, kids of seven are more literate. Not much wonder Massachusetts happened.

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    @34 It’s really great to see F.F.T. returning to the good old days of great entertainment value on the intertubes! KIPPIS! ;-)

  • Dave the Revelator

    infinndel the jenkki dogg, you commented on your own comment!


  • Dave the Revelator

    For the record, infinndel the jenkki dogg, despite his political espousings, is a whole lot more fun than winturd.


  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    @37… Dave,I long for the days when punter and I used to endlessly flame each other…F.F.T.in the old days was a hotbed of insanity..
    Seems lately F.F.T. has become so tame,that a lot of the nutmen
    that used to spice up this blog,have jumped off the F.F.T. boat!

  • Dave the Revelator

    Where did they go and why didn’t they tell us where they were going?

  • happosai

    I wonder why “perussuomalaiset” is translated to “True Finns”. The direct translation is “Basic Finns”, which describes the voter base well :)

    It is pure populist party – they are always against whatever happens to be the unpopular thing of the day – EU, humanitarian immigrants, carbondioxide capping, globalisation, …

  • Anonymous

    #39. Yeah, and this popular party is now very popular and gaining momentum , which makes them win the next election and take this country 300 years backward. Be sure about this!

  • Hagelstam

    @ 39, not exactly, or have they changed their opinion on EU, immigration or globalisation?? I don’t think so.

  • Slurp

    Actually they where popular. They are already loosing the popularity they got year ago.

  • Jaska

    @40 Actually their popularity now is much higher than it was in the 2008 Parliamentary Election (4,1 % in 2007). And Parliamentary Elections are what counts.

  • Jaska

    The above comment was directed at 42, not 40.

  • Jaska

    Hm, and the last Parl. Election was in 2007, not 2008.

  • Freeridin’ Franklin

    “Suomi army involved in genocide against Afghanistan native
    population! ***OH-NO! WHAT COULD GO WRONG!?***”



  • Freeridin’ Franklin

    “I wonder why “perussuomalaiset” is translated to “True Finns”. The direct translation is “Basic Finns”, which describes the voter base well”

    I’ve always found the name rather misleading. If you look at the candidates and representatives, they are a most peculiar assortment of lifestyle Indiands, quite detached from anything you would call a “basic Finn”. Is that really the most fitting description of Veltto Virtanen?

  • toivo

    yes, I totally agree with you! There is only one right and sensible answer – Piraattipuolue!


  • born there

    I got an idea..bring obama politics here and we will be great..Obama care finland?
    Yeh, that the ticket..so says the dumb asses that voted and supported that subhuman.

  • born there

    I voted for Scott Brown on my own paper here on the comp…I for on am happy he got in.

    Socialist = left wing..hitler,che,musalini,castrated castro etc etc was left wing.. so the left wingers are in good company

    when I hear left wing, i hear hitler calling

  • Anonymous

    #49.”I got an idea……………………….that subhuman.”

    The “Subhuman” idea is almost 80 years, used to fuel the naziz brains during the WII, but it didn’t work. I can’t believe there exist some people who think like this , still, in 2010!…Voi, Jesus!
    Honeslty, If we want to talk about “subhumans”, I’ve seen enough in Finland!
    And I got an idea too, try to watch CAN 2010 (African cup of nations), which goes on right now, to discover how “subhuman” play. I guess watching good football will make you feel better :) .Still they own.

  • Didier Drugboy

    Bit of a bad move there, #50. The quality at CAN has been pretty shit. Entertaining in its way, yes, as you never know when the defence is going to melt down spectacularly, but hardly an advertisement for the beautiful game or a measure of human achievement. Maybe if they first learnt how to lay a grass pitch so that it doesn’t fall apart after ten minutes the standard of passing would be a fraction better.

    As for #49, well, he’s probably inhaled some toxic gases from the made-in-China Walmart crosses he’s been burning.

  • foo

    Hey, I am football fan too. For the CAN, the quality of the grass is a big element of the competition. I mean, without the shitty quality of the grass, CAN will not be a real CAN :) . This is what makes it an amazing competition, beside the 90% =humidity, Temp=30 C at least, and facing players with good talents (+ Voodoo effects). I remember once Louis Figo said that he dreams to participate in CAN, just because of these poor conditions, while high performance is strongly demanded.
    I felt sorry for Dogba, Ivory Coast went home too early after losing against Algeria. The reason was that they haven’t play for nine days, Togo was missing from their group after the terrorist attack on their ways to Angola the CAN- host!

    Just waiting the final on Sunday: Egypt- Ghana.

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg
  • Jaska

    “Honeslty, If we want to talk about “subhumans”, I’ve seen enough in Finland!”

    Here we see a textbook example of an anti-Finnish hypocrite: First you say that there are no subhumans. Then you say that Finns are subhumans. People like you pretend to be “tolerant” but under the surface you are in fact full fledged eugenicists…

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg
  • infinndel the jenkki dogg
  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    Suomi better call ***AL GORE,THE MAN MADE GLOBAL WARMING GOD***
    To come to Finland and wave his magic global warming wand or his
    ***GIGANTIC KYRPPA*** and free up the Baltic ice jams!

  • Freeridin’ Franklin

    #56: Looks like someone took a piece of da East Helsinki ghetto to Lake Finland.



  • Freeridin’ Franklin

    “…under the surface you are in fact full fledged eugenicists…”

    Godwin’s law. You lose.

  • Carol
  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    @61 P.K.D is another example of an ***OBAMANOID CORRUPTOCRAT***!

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    This will rock in Boston!?

  • Expat

    I have to say that some of the arguments listed on here are not only offensive but down right ignorant.

  • paha kurki

    Phil, your recent pace of updates suggests that the sleepers’ party might be the most suitable choice for you.

  • http://www.campaignforliberty.com Finland4Paul

    The only true champion against Bolshevism: Ron Paul.


  • Winter (Go Protons, Cancer in remission, will soon be removed from “Dead Man Walking” video.)


    Hope and Changie


    its that easy, and get the result of a USA with no work

  • Anonymous

    Two ***SWEDISH INFIDELS*** pay ultimate price for inflicting
    genocide on Afghanistan native population! :-(

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    Myrdal likes dead ***SWEDISH INFIDELS***!

  • Y factor

    Hi Phil, who cares about those corrupted parties?
    Write something about x-factor and that René Porkkana or Pokkina or Pähkinä that is always on tv and meanwhile plays in a skinhead band suspected of nazi sympathies.
    Let’s find out the truth by ourselves.

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg
  • Antti rn

    Don’t join any party. They borrow your ass to sit on a hot stove and strap you to an ideology about to hit the wall sooner or later.

  • Anonymous

    Swedish politician enjoys his stay in the sunny Canary islands,
    at taxpayers expense.He is ***two people for the price of one***!

  • Passerby

    These politicians love your country so much that stay away all the time. After all they’re the last ones who care to improve the place.

  • SuoPo

    I was sent here to keep an eye on you.

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    Since there are not enough infidels creating havoc and carnage
    in Afghanistan, the Liberal Swedes are going to send more
    ***SWEDISH INFIDELS***, to inflict more chaotic genocide
    upon the Afghanistan native population! :-(

  • infinndel the jenkki dogg

    The ***SWEDISH INFIDELS***,being sent to Afghanistan to wage genocide against the native population,will prove themselves to be girlie men!
    SOoooo…Suomi will send a bunch of ***FINN INFIDELS*** to save the
    whimpy ***SWEDE INFIDELS*** from a humiliating epic fail! :-(

  • Dave the Revelator

    You should join the Anti-Blogging Contingency.

  • Hey there

    Why not go talk to and make a story about the hunger striker who opposes corruption in front of the parliament? (For two weeks already, asking people to join, they got a website up so go see there.)

  • anonymous

    Phil should join Gay Party because he is totally gay.

  • anymous

    I hate gays.

  • anymous

    and I dislike STUPID HIPPIES like phillip schwarzmann.

  • Question

    Why you hate them?

  • anymous

    “Why you hate them?”

    Gays are animals not humans at all.

  • anonymous

    “Meet a Finnish liberal and you’ll find out. They’re fanatical about their own brand of liberalism, which somehow includes hatred towards foreigners and trying to get parts of Eastern Finland back from Russia.”

    Comment by Phil — Tue, Jan 19th, 2010 @ 12:30 pm

    It looks like the finnish liberals are just like me (I really dislike immigrants).

  • Hetero

    Anyway humans can be worse than animal.
    I know that hating them isn’t healthy for me.

  • anonymous

    I dislike finn-swedes too. They are assholes (like Astrid Thors who loves islam and multiculturalism).

  • anonymous

    “Anyway humans can be worse than animal.
    I know that hating them isn’t healthy for me.”

    Comment by Hetero — Thu, Feb 18th, 2010 @ 11:35 pm


  • anonymous

    Stupid immigrants are ruining our country – JUSSI HALLA-AHO FTW!!!!

  • Hetero

    Hey, is that a threat? Cyberterrorism? And where is freedom of speech? I didn’t mean offence, dude. Just casually asking. Not taking stands for you, him, or it.

  • tibor

    Phil! What is so wrong with wanting to get parts of Eastern Finland back? Righting a wrong can’t be a bad thing, but it is of course twisted into some sort of “right-wing” Nationalist thing. I didn’t even know Liberaalit had that in their program? If so, at least someone in Finnish politics is talking about it. Unfortunately, the vast majority of lethargic Finns could care less. Decades of Finlandization did that, along with other societal factors.

  • J.J

    The party program of the Liberal Paty at http://www.liberaalit.fi contains the following statement “Multiculturalism is a richness”. The party favors liberal immigration policy, tolerance and multiculturalism. The party program does not cantain any references to Karelia or other such things.

    Judging from this and some other articles on this blog, the author seems to be unfamiliar with the concept of statistical representativeness.

  • Mike

    Where I come from we have 1 party in control after them comes the shadow gov. Now being all funky and uber democratic may make some feel good however F**k all is achieved. “As one yank said democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb deciding what to have for lunch”

  • Rebel

    Then again, if you can’t bother to read each party’s program, this pic will tell you just enough:


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