Pizza Slut
I’ve always wondered why Pizza Hut, the world’s best pizza, hasn’t had much success in Finland. Now I know, this tiny “Medium” pizza below which about the size of my belly button (the photo doesn’t do it justice), costs 18 euros ($24.64 USD). LOL!!!
When we picked up our pizzas (we had a 2-for-1 coupon), we thought they made a mistake and gave us smalls…then we saw the “Small”, about the size of pimple.
You have been here 6 years and you are only now figuring this out?
Comment by Spring sucks — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 10:46 am
Never ordered a medium. It’s like a personal pizza size. That would never pass for “medium” in the states, in fact I think we have laws against it
Comment by Phil — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 11:11 am
Yeah, it’s fucking ridiculous. Really, all they’re doing is shooting themselves in the leg.
Comment by Rupula — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 11:14 am
Exactly, i don’t get it. Obviously their margins are quite high, but volume is low. There’s a million places that sell pizzas for 6 euros, good luck trying to send them for 18.
Comment by Phil — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 11:22 am
The same weirdness was with the McDonald’s & other hamburger chains back in the 90′s. The food was the same cheap stuff you get all over the world, but the prices were higher than they are now despite 10 years of inflation.
Then suddenly, around 2000 or so, they realized that fast food chain hamburgers are not premium stuff and dropped the price to 4,95 a meal.
Comment by hlehto — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 11:23 am
Why would anyone eat pan pizzas anyway? All you do is paying for extra dough. Why don’t you use the same money and buy some flour, yeast etc. and eat all the dough you would ever want.
And besides Koti-Pizza’s Kotzone rules.
Comment by Fat Bastard — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 3:05 pm
Thanks for letting me know, phil… I only ever had eaten at PH during the relatively cheap lunch buffet here.
Has anyone else noticed the (Ingman, I think) ad campaign for ice creams on a stick? Their new slogan:
“Now new, SMALLER size !”
WTF?
Now, I’ve been living here a looooong time, and American obesity is nothing to laugh at (which we will get a bunch of ‘clever’ Finns immediately responding to now) but I don’t see the selling point in LESS ice cream during summer. Why not ‘smaller and less expensive!!!” or something else besides just “SMALLER!!” or “SMALLER and CREAMIER!!” or like it’s the greatest thing to just go down in size?
They’re really pushing this campaign, and from what I see, prices are either higher or the same.
This value-for-money thing has not hit Finland yet.
This brings to mind the “family packs” of foods in Finland, where more often than not larger sizes of flour, milk and other staples actually cost more than their smaller counterparts.
In every other economy in the world, buying in bulk usually costs less because of less packaging and so on.
WTF?
Are Finns that dumb, or is it the grocery monopoly. Or what?
Comment by Dave the Revelator — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 3:11 pm
I mean the items cost more by weight … if that was unclear.
Comment by Dave the Revelator — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 3:13 pm
Pizza Hut is great, but I agree that the price level is too high. Pan pizzas are generally more expensive than the thin, italian style pizzas that are served throughout Finland, though. The same applies for Norway, and I guess Sweden is no exception.
Comment by Tommy Isaksen — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 3:24 pm
I think it is excellent that crap food like PH is overpriced. It should cost 30€ or more. I honestly think a health tax should be applied to this kind of bad fast food. Maybe the small size is to keep the calories in a normal level for a meal.
Comment by Anonymous — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 3:37 pm
Number 10, your logic defies you.
Comment by Dave the Revelator — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 3:56 pm
Remember that 22% of that 18 Euros, 3.96 went to VAT. Add to that whatever taxes get paid on employee salaries and then on any profit left over;)
“I honestly think a health tax should be applied to this kind of bad fast food.”
– It already is. Limsavero/soda tax, alcohol tax. What other special taxes am I missing?
Comment by Fred Fry — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 4:20 pm
I only ever had eaten at PH during the relatively cheap lunch buffet here.
Good point though, there lunch buffet is a good deal if you eat alot of pizza.
Comment by Phil — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 4:44 pm
It should cost 30€ or more. I honestly think a health tax should be applied to this kind of bad fast food.
Not really fast food, it took like 20 minutes to prepare.
Comment by Phil — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 4:45 pm
I can eat half a week at Ibrahim pizze kebab tulinen ja mieto kaste for 18 euros…
Comment by Hank W. — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 6:55 pm
Yankee and Pizza Hut go home
Comment by Joe Doe — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 7:11 pm
Hank:
“I can eat half a week at Ibrahim pizze kebab tulinen ja mieto kaste for 18 euros…”
And yet you want to send Ibrahim packing.
Comment by Freeridin' Franklin — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 8:56 pm
Those things from koti hut etc. aren’t pizze. You should know.
Now go and pay 18 36 or even 50 bucks for them.
Comment by x — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 9:20 pm
infinndel eating ***PIZZA SLUT*** grande pork special pizza… (contents:pork sausage,pepperoni,bacon,pork rib strips,cheese,onion,
ham, pork rind,pork tripe)…chomp…chomp…chomp…***UURPP!***
chomp…chomp…chomp…***UURPP!***….ppffftttt!…phart!…
swig o’beer….slurp….chomp….chomp…chomp….hick…drool… swig o’beer….phart….drool
infindel next morning:oohhh!…what happened…I feel like krapola!
puke….upchuck…I feel sick…my head hurts…I will call doctor Urho…cough…cough…cough
infindel:….got to call doctor ….ring,ring,ring…
dr. Urho speaking!…how can I help you son!
infindel:DOC I am sick as a bastid…I piged out at ***PIZZA SLUT***
last night…I feel sick as a dirty pig…oink…oink…
doc…you got to help me..
dr.urho: there is no help for you,you infinndel pig…you got
***SWINE PHLEW***
Comment by infinndel the jenkki dogg — Wed, May 13th, 2009 @ 9:43 pm
In the world of pizzas it’s Pizza Slut, in the world of hamburgers it’s Booger Fling — have it your way !
Comment by v.i.lenin — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 9:46 am
I want Wendy’s.
Comment by Phil — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 11:08 am
@Phil
I would kill for a Wendy’s. A big bacon classic and a Frosty.
Comment by Spring sucks — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 12:42 pm
Honestly! Couldn’t you come up with a better derogatory expression to rhyme with “hut”?
As for the size issue, one possible explanation is that when pizzas as food gained popularity in Finland, it seemed to be established that one pizza mainly served one person; two people might share a large pizza, or even a medium or small one if they aren’t particularly hungry. In the United States a “large pizza” will feed an average Laestadian family with little room for dessert.
#6 I agree. Deep pan pizzas are absolutely pointless.
#7 ‘Has anyone else noticed the (Ingman, I think) ad campaign for ice creams on a stick? Their new slogan:
“Now new, SMALLER size !”
WTF?’
Ever heard of nouvelle cuisine? Actually, for a single serving of a high-calorie snack like ice cream, the option of a smaller portion is probably a good thing. With most other edibles, if you can’t finish all of it, you can usually save the rest for later, but unless you’re carrying a portable freezer with you, the options with ice cream are, eat it all, or throw it away.
Comment by K. Wilska — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 1:10 pm
K.Wilska, honestly, when was the last time you threw away the last two bites of an ice cream, especially that milky Valio?
Its about clever marketing of an obvious downgrade in value. You’ll notice it doesn’t say “fewer calories,” or “better taste.” All it says is “NOW SMALLER!”
Gimme a break.
Comment by Dave the Revelator — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 4:50 pm
I want Papa John’s.
Comment by puli — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 4:52 pm
K.Wilska: “#6 I agree. Deep pan pizzas are absolutely pointless.”
This is like telling a child that balloons are pointless.
Comment by Dave the Revelator — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 4:58 pm
#24 “…honestly, when was the last time you threw away the last two bites of an ice cream”
My point exactly. Many people (especially Finns) are very reluctant to throw food away, which is why having the option of a smaller portion is likely to appeal to the calorie-counting community – or at least that part of it that eats ice cream at all.
Sure, it may well be the brainchild of a sneaky marketer – just like whoever came up with the idea the anorexic gourmet style known as “nouvelle cuisine”, where mosels of food about the size of the free samples that they give out at CityMarket are arranged in a pseudo-sophisticated manner.
Comment by K. Wilska — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 5:07 pm
#26 Hey, if you like pizzas with the topping-dough ratio heavily on the side of the latter, then go for it.
I just remember the first time that I tried a “deep pan pizza” I actually thought that the idea of a deep pan was that the high edges could accommodate a thicker layer of topping.
Comment by K. Wilska — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 5:11 pm
At least in the nouvelle cuisine there is the perception (whether it is true or not is anyone’s guess) that the tidbits of the 7 to 9 course meal are of superior quality.
I guess that’s what bugged me so much about the “NOW SMALLER!” campaign, that there is not even the suggestion that the quality has of the ingredients have increased, just that you get less than you used to.
Maybe I am reading too much into it, but especially in these tight economic times, one would think clever marketers would be thinking how to make consumers believe that they are getting “more” (whether size or quality) rather than just plain old “less.”
You know?
Comment by Dave the Revelator — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 9:12 pm
#17 “And yet you want to send Ibrahim packing.”
Nope, I question if Ibrahims 40 cousins need to come over for a holiday, live off my tax monies dreaming of a pizzakebab. There is a difference – Finland doesn’t have prairies we can push the immigrants into.
Comment by Hank W. — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 9:52 pm
As an italian, and hence expert in pizza, the real pizza, thicker on the sides and not so thin in the centre, cooked in a wood owen, I have to say that pizza in Finland sucks. It’s the one food I miss most. Besides the lousy quality of ingredients, here pizza dough is saltless, the pizza is so thin you can see through it and the pizza makers all seem to think that the wider the pizza is, the better. Even if it’s see-through.
The worst is the classic pizza chain, who claims to have the right no kebab pizza and they don’t even have olive oil to dress pizza with, only rypsyoil…
Comment by Anonymous — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 9:59 pm
It looks medium-sized to me (if a little on the small size for something described as ‘medium’). Certainly very expensive, much cheaper and better looking pizza can be had. Portion sizes are different in different countries I suppose. Mind you, regardless of what size it is meant to be, it looks disgusting. I can see it drowning in fatt.
A small part of me cries inside when I see the Arla logo next to Ingman on their non-ice cream products. At least the ice cream business is still controlled and owned from Sibbo, at least for now (i.e. until they sell it or Helsinki decides it doesn’t actually like small portions and wants to eat the rest of Sipoo).
Comment by Jonas G — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 11:30 pm
Hank:
“Nope, I question if Ibrahims 40 cousins need to come over for a holiday, live off my tax monies dreaming of a pizzakebab.”
I don’t know what you mean. The social services are not in the habit of distributing money to tourists, save some isolated unfortunate accidents. Has the Master aka the Great Cthulhu messed up your mind permanently?
“There is a difference – Finland doesn’t have prairies we can push the immigrants into.”
True, not prairies and no real cities either, but plenty of room nonetheless.
Comment by Freeridin' Franklin — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 11:39 pm
Anon:
“As an italian, and hence expert in pizza…”
An Italian colleague preferred Middle Eastern kebabpizza to Italian pizza. Apparently those places are as ubiquitous in Italy as elsewhere in Europe, although I must say that the Lebanese etc. run pizzerias are selling a more authentic-tasting product that the ones here.
I don’t know the current situation, but I recall that Via Veneto on Iso-Roba used to sell something closely resembling the real thing way back when. At least the owner was an “expert in pizza”.
Comment by Freeridin' Franklin — Thu, May 14th, 2009 @ 11:54 pm
Anonymous #31: You obviously have no clue what you’re talking about. Everyone knows Finland has the best pizzas.
http://www.corriere.it/english/articoli/2008/06_Giugno/12/finland_pizza_berlusconi.shtml
Connoisseur, my ass.
Comment by Fat Bastard — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 1:51 am
Portions all over Eu are small. After many visits to Finland I have come to realize for my big fat ass to get full (Kebab joints excluded) if still hungry, I just order another meal. (Get lots of stares and smiles when doing this) or when in the mood I order a desert or two. This is something I never do at home. This can be a good thing, as i have discovered many great desert items and cheeses in Finland. Finland also has GREAT street food! I Love the gooey meat pocket thing with the hot dog in it. Can’t remember the name right now. anybody? Damn those are Tasty! One of my fave grill kiosk? joints is near the Helsinki Train station, near stockman. Usually a cute chinese chick working there. Discovered it when jetlag and hunger forced me out of the Holiday Inn City center to get some grub. If you can ignore the drunken bums (I’m a big boy so they don’t fuck with me) begging you for euros when you are waiting for her to slather the greasy sauce on this thing it is really worth the wait.Good and cheap! Afterwards, make sure you have some good USA Alka-Seltzer with ya. The Finn version (Samarin?) tastes like shit.
Comment by rick — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 2:04 am
***IKEA*** has reindeer sausage in it’s deli/restaurant
at ***IKEA*** in Massachusetts!…I’m gonna get me some soon!
Then I will make my own reindeer/mushroom/ham/cheese pizza!
Wish I could get LAPIN KULTA or KOFF beer in Boston!
Comment by infinndel the jenkki dogg — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 2:07 am
That pizza looks sick, like someone sat bare assed on it. Pizza Pappalis in the big D is the shnizzit.
I’m sorry you opened the box to this sorry sight.
Comment by Larjmarj — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 5:55 am
Deep pan pizzas are absolutely pointless.
Deep dish pizzas are the absolute best. Even better, inject some cheese into that crust. BOOM!!
Comment by Phil — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 8:47 am
I lived in New Jersey and every pizza place had its own style, so when you wanted a pizza you could narrow it down to the exact munchie your tummy alarm was alerting you to. Here the pizza style is pretty uniform everywhere, they’re OK but I miss the variety.
Comment by v.i.lenin — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 9:32 am
#38: Having made quite a few items of that particular brand in my teen angst daze, I must say that back in my day that one would’ve gone to the dumpster. Either QC is so 80s or time has done its thing on my memory.
Comment by Freeridin' Franklin — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 7:36 pm
It’s a better deal with the 3-for-1 coupon. They now have 4-for-1s, too, and the pizza is not that much smaller. You must have been using one of the old coupons.
Comment by kris — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 8:29 pm
33 “I don’t know what you mean. The social services are not in the habit of distributing money to tourists”
They give free housing and 300 euros disco money to asylum shoppers for years on end. I don’t know where you live at, but that money is from my taxes.
Comment by Hank W. — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 8:55 pm
#36 “I Love the gooey meat pocket thing with the hot dog in it. Can’t remember the name right now. anybody?”
a lihapiirakka?
yeah, they clog your arteries quite effectively
Comment by Hank W. — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 9:05 pm
Where are you guys getting these coupons?
Comment by Dave the Revelator — Fri, May 15th, 2009 @ 9:27 pm
“a lihapiirakka?”
Yeah thats it! I call it a “Lipper” ;-D. It resembles what we used to call a “Beer rock” back in the day in Kansas City Only much more filling and tasty! (Plus you get a free partially entombed hot dog!)
Why mess with a wimpy yankee pizza? the standard hot dog vendors that appear magically at 1:am Deep in downtown Jyvaskyla RULE. Always a line. Hands down best HD’s in Finland. + a great kabob joint is there, Both of these Gut-Busting operations are near the Old Bricks bar. The Kil Kinney? beer there (Irish) is amazing, not to mention the incredible T&A summer eye candy walking by as you sit outside at their terrace.
Can’t wait till another unwholesome delightful trip this Summer.
Comment by rick — Sat, May 16th, 2009 @ 12:01 am
Hank:
“They give free housing and 300 euros disco money to asylum shoppers for years on end.”
And they are all cousins of kebabpizzakebab chefs? Amazing!
“I don’t know where you live at, but that money is from my taxes.”
Yeah well, for every asylum seeker there are 50 useless native drunks receiving the same benefits, not to mention the other drainholes for our tax money – like our fiscal conservative Sauli blowing 700k of “disco money” to entertain guests at the opening of a port that nobody uses.
Comment by Freeridin' Franklin — Sat, May 16th, 2009 @ 2:13 am
Here’s a great website for all of you high-cholesterol and high-calorie food fans:
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/
It details dishes apparently available at various restaurants with descriptions of the content:
Monte Cristo
Deep fried ham, turkey american and swiss cheese sandwich with rasberry preserves and topped with powdered sugar.
Junkyard Dog
Two diced hot dogs covered with peppers, onions, cheese, and topped with two pieces of bacon.
And my favorite (conceptually, that is):
Bacon Crust Pizza With Bacon
Comment by K. Wilska — Sat, May 16th, 2009 @ 8:33 am
#35
It’s good if three pizza makers and the jury wanted to jest Berlusconi, but best pizza? No way. Forget it.
He’s a conoisseur and you aren’t.
Comment by Thin bastard — Sun, May 17th, 2009 @ 11:11 am
Sometime somehow smoke signals may be more effective than a nokia telephone, but usually they aren’t.
Comment by Thin bastard — Sun, May 17th, 2009 @ 11:15 am
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/
Hot damn!
Thx for the link!
Comment by rick — Mon, May 18th, 2009 @ 12:50 am
Hunk – “They give free housing and 300 euros disco money to asylum shoppers for years on end. I don’t know where you live at, but that money is from my taxes.”
And my tax money goes to all the Finnish scum spending their lazy sunny days in the various market squares getting legless and reminding of human derelicts.
Finnish social support system is the dumbest system anyone could think of. Send the bastards to work instead of paying them. Or out to streets – that would sober up few heads very fast.
Comment by Finscunk — Mon, May 18th, 2009 @ 12:25 pm
Well if you don’t like the system you’re quite free to piss off. Try Sweden, actually the legless bums are there only because they can’t get their asses off to Sweden. Their welfare system is more generous than ours.
Comment by Hank W. — Tue, May 19th, 2009 @ 10:03 am
Makes you feel better if you point out that some system could be even more stupid than yours?
You can keep that f..ing poor Finland with its communist system, dirty brainwashed people living off others to yourself. Do you realy belive that anyone wants to steal that deep shithole from you?
I am just happy, same as many foreigners I know, that I am only passing through that place – you have to live here. What a shitty luck Hunk.
Comment by Finscunk — Tue, May 19th, 2009 @ 2:16 pm
I would only wish you leave yesterday.
Comment by Hank W. — Tue, May 19th, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
The only people in finland who can make pizzas are the immigrants. Cheap pizzas, 6 euros and you get a huge pizza, water and free sallad. Fuck all the rest, only goto immigrant places to eat nowadays. Kotipizza and it’s prices can burn in hell. die die die die die koti pizza!
Comment by Anonymous — Tue, May 19th, 2009 @ 2:56 pm
“Scunk”:
“I am just happy, same as many foreigners I know, that I am only passing through that place”
Passing through – as in through the digestive system? Can’t wait to dump you.
Here’s a free tip: don’t move anywhere where English is the official language.
Comment by Freeridin' Franklin — Tue, May 19th, 2009 @ 10:43 pm
@34, @35:
I know what I’m talking about. Try a pizza made with the right ingredients and the right oven and come back to me, Berlusconi or not.
I don’t care who makes it, finnish, italian or turkish.
I have eaten real bad pizza made in Finland by true italians, and I tend to expect in Italy that turkish make decent pizza.
It’s all about ingredients and the oven. I tend to suspect that for some reason, in Finland it is forbidden to use wood-fired ovens in public places and this is a huge pity.
Comment by Anonymous — Tue, May 19th, 2009 @ 10:54 pm
It also to be said that the only pizzeria with a wood oven in Helsinki, Virgin Oil, makes an equally bad pizza as a random pizza-kebab. The least worse is koti pizza if you take a pan pizza.
Comment by Anonymous — Tue, May 19th, 2009 @ 10:56 pm
It varies so much from place to place, and sometimes even on the cook… I’ve managed in my time to score excellent ones and such gunk I’ve made better even myself…
Comment by Hank W. — Wed, May 20th, 2009 @ 9:30 pm
any of these make a fantastic pizza, just click on the name of the pizzeria:
http://www.pizzanapoletana.org/showreg.php?r=Campania
Comment by Samson — Thu, May 28th, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
Virgin Oil has the only wood oven pizzeria in Helsinki and it tastes like cardboard? the reason is… lack of olive tree wood in Finland and Neapolitan “pizzaiolos”
Comment by Samson — Thu, May 28th, 2009 @ 2:26 pm
samuli ylonen from espoo cut off his school pals,dogs fore skin,and put it on top of a pizza hut pizza,and then watched a kemiran factory vahti mestaris wife eat it,samuli you bad boy,leena ylonen teaches samuli strange habits by making him drink her vittu mehu twice a day….
Comment by sadly i kow these people too well — Fri, Jul 17th, 2009 @ 6:18 pm
i remember antti y went up samulis suklaa tunnelli every night,and leea and liisa looked and played with each others clits,tasty……
Comment by veli pekka vittunen — Fri, Jul 17th, 2009 @ 6:23 pm