An Italian colleague of mine sent me a link to an article telling how the Italian government is going to put the tax records of Italians in the Internet for general access. The web site that it has a link to where people can browse the tax records is already down because of all the traffic.

Now, Berlusconi is also going to have lists of top earners to publish in the press. You knew that the Prime Minister of Italy is a media mogul as well, didn’t you? Well we all know that the tax circus in Finland is mostly all about the press having a heyday publishing the top earners lists (and Veropörssi publishing its magazine). You can see those top earner lists in just about every Finnish newspaper and magazine in November, and many of them keep them online for anyone to browse. On the morning of Nov. 1, reporters actually line up at the Finnish tax authority’s office to get their CD roms of data that they have ordered so they can race back to the office and get the stuff published. 

 The article, which is in Italian, already listed several names of celebrities and their incomes, like Luciano Benetton (United Colours of Benetton).

 The Italian mafia is also going to have free shopping lists of where to find money. They can just go from person to person in the database, to find someone who has money to extort from.  They will be ecstatic about this…

I guess they didn’t bother talking to the Swedish data protection ombudsman first about this. Sweden stopped putting tax records in the internet for general access in 2006 because of all the problems it was causing for many Swedish residents. Maybe this is a case where they were (mis)led in to thinking that the Scandinavian countries are models to be followed in every way, including sticking peoples’ taxation personal data in the media and internet.

It’s funny how some idiot at McDonald’s will speak fluent English to me when I want a lousy hamburger, but when I have an important matter at the Espoo police station, I find no one who speaks English. Fortunately I visit McDonald’s more than the police station. But I was forced to use my Finnish skills and after some time, I finally got what I needed, and left proud knowing my Finnish is slowly but surely improving.

I can’t understand why people don’t get this - If you’re speaking a foreigner, SLOOOW DOOOWN…and use small words. It seems that whenever I use my Finnish, the natives tend to get anxious because they’re dealing with a foreigner, and speak even faster than normal. We foreigners are trying very hard to learn Finnish (we are!!), but until we do, we need you to speak to us like retards.

And for all you foreigners - Try and have a big smile on your face when you talk to the Finns, it tends to make them less anxious and more responsive. I think they fear screwing up their English, and if you’re smiling, they know you won’t get upset if they mess up a little.

But damn, I was at the police station early this morning for 90 minutes trying to get a new driver’s license, I’ve seen faster queues at the DMV!! It reminded me of one of the greatest Simpsons lines ever - Patti and Selma (”Smellma”) are working behind the counter at the DMV, they say, “Some days we don’t do any work at all, they’re called weakdays!” LOL!!

Just as the horrid “kids in the basement” case in Austria has taken the news headlines, out pops a disturbing advert of HK “Hot Tubs” or “Potku” as they’re known in Finland. Done by the Saatchi & Saatchi advertising agency, the Swedish marketing of HKScan didn’t find anything tasteless about the advert before the Finnish parent company told them to pull it. Nice stereotype of a family who eats tv dinners don’t you think?

No wonder the video was promptly removed. For consolation the www.hottubstopshunger.com website has a number of more or less “trying to be funny” advertisements… Australian beach saved by meatballs or Russian scientist inventing the black hole…Seems the advertising industry is always one step ahead of good taste.

A district court has ruled that a Rovaniemi man intentionally infected five women with HIV. The ruling furthermore said that he is guilty of attempting to infect several others.

In an interim judgement, handed down on Monday, the Rovaniemi district court dropped three other charges against the man, two of aggravated assault stemming from alleged attempts to infect two women, and one of sexual abuse.

The remaining charges of intentionally infecting five women were ruled as proven, as were charges of attempting to infect another 14.

Interesting - If you get tested positive for HIV, having sex could put you in jail. Sure you could wear a condom, but we all know they’re not 100% effective.

Lesson learned: Don’t get an HIV test *

* sarcasm alert for anyone who missed it

Wednesday Helsinki will transfer into a carnival mood with the obligatory yellow rivers and pavement pizzas. The weather forecast is promising a tropical +17 and clear skys, so the centre will be most probably jampacked with people. And no, my calendar is not wrong, in Finland the party is on the “eve” of the “day”, though MayDay is a two-day celebration. Friday this year is more or less of an un-day as most people have taken it off and no doubt many families take a “long weekend” at the cottages.

Meanwhile in Helsinki the police have made public statements that they will be actively harrassing teens. Anyone under 15 will have their liquor thrown into the gutter, their parents called and there will be a special teenage drunk tank the parents can come collect their offspring from (unless they themselves are in a drunk tank that is.) Theres also going to be street patrols run by different organizations helping wayward youths.

Oh, and if anyone is planning to “do” anything in town on Wednesday, do it on Tuesday. Wednesday traffic will be stopped around Kauppatori starting from 5pm and the queues in Alkos are going to be worth seeing. Students have taken over the city, so you’ll se a lot of white caps around with a variety of tassles and tassle-free. Don’t be laughing - they’re a part of the Imperial University uniform, so a professor might come and whack you with his sword. The main thing in Helsinki is “capping the Manta” done around 18 at Kauppatori.

Thursday there are two “traditions” - the Students go to Ullanlinna cliffs to have a picknick, so the city gardeners roll their eyes thinking of the lawn (this year being dry it should be quite allright). Or if you’re politically inclined you can go to Hakaniemi and listen to the speeches and see the few leftover commies march with their banners singing the international. The interest in the Worker’s side of things has been declining the past ten-twenty years, so even Minister Tuomioja, a runner for the SDP chair made a controversial statement that “maybe we should then let go of MayDay marches”.

Remember whatever happens - MayDay is only once a year.

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My buddy and I have had a running gag in my office to Rick Roll one particular colleague everyday for several days. Now it was my turned to be Rick Roll’d, there was a package waiting for me in my mailbox…

As expected, Hillary Clinton won Pennsylvania last night, putting a small dent into Barack Obama’s delegate lead. I think it’s official now - this primary is going all the way to the Democratic National Convention in August before Barack is finally declared the winner. After an entire spring and summer of battling, the Democratic supporters will finally be tired and poor, essentially handing an easy victory to John McCain. Great.

…I’ll have it back looking normal again soon!

Here’s something you don’t see everyday, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen this in Finland - People bagging your groceries for you, something that is quite common in the states. But these teenage girls in green shirts don’t work for the grocery store, they’re part of some retail marketing campaign for that day (weekend?) only. They bag your groceries, then ask if you want a free sample of cheese - not a bad idea for a campaign!

Before entering a grocery store line in Finland, there’s a few things you should know. Prisma (the Wal-Mart of Finland) always has much shorter lines than K-Supermarket (the other Wal-Mart of Finland). So choose Prisma if you don’t like waiting.

Second, when you approach the checkout lines, don’t go to the first few lines, always go towards the other end, there’s always cashiers sitting around doing nothing. I don’t know what it is, but Finns seem to just grab the first line they see. This differs from grocery stores in the states where the Americans scope out several times until they find the optimal one - which is quite out of the ordinary considering Americas passion for waiting in lines - Americans see a line and feel the need to stand in it, even if they don’t know what for.

Lastly, If another cashier opens up in the states, people rush to it like the buildings on fire. In Finland, there’s always an awkward five second pause before shoppers charge the cashier - so don’t wait, seize the moment!!

It appears that accusations that Hillary Clinton has no mathematical chance of winning, are false…

The worst traffic accident in Spain since 2001…

Nine Finnish tourists are known to have died in a bus crash on Saturday evening in the vicinity of Malaga on the Spanish Costa del Sol. Details are still coming in, but initial reports from police and rescue officials at the scene said that the death toll may well rise even higher.

The coach, carrying 49 Finnish tourists on their way to Malaga Airport for their return flight to Helsinki, was apparently in collision with a 4×4 vehicle on the A7 highway close to Benalmádena, and rolled onto its roof after impact, trapping many of the passengers inside.

[…]According to eye-witnesses, the cause of the accident was a rash overtaking manoeuvre by the driver of a 4×4 vehicle, who attempted to pass the coach on the right-hand side, and caused it to swerve off the carriageway and flip over. Both vehicles were travelling at relatively high speed at the time on the motorway, in heavy rain and high winds. The road surface was said to be slick.

The driver of the other vehicle was not injured, but was breathalysed at the scene and found to have twice the Spanish limit for alcohol in his bloodstream. He has been arrested, and could face multiple manslaughter charges.

It brings back some bad memories from just 2.5 years ago when 23 died in a Finnish bus crash in the central part of the country, as well as the slow reaction of the Finnish authorities when many Finns died in the Asian tsunami.

The Ministry of the Interior has released a national action programme (pdf) to face the future challenges of Finland. The idea behind the action programme is to make Finland the safest country in Europe by 2015. According to the ministry, security is being eroded by such things as marginalisation, accidents, and violence. The Helsingin Sanomat International Edition writes:

Alcohol is seen as the most common reason for violence and the cause of countless accidents. The programme indicates that other threats facing Finns within their own borders are emerging racism, major accidents, the vulnerability of IT systems and networks, data crime and organised international criminal gangs, terrorism, and violent radical groups.

In addition to painting a picture of the lurking dangers, the ministry offers several suggestions for warding off the threats, calling for rising the alcohol taxation, support for village activities in sparsely populated rural areas, tougher line on racist offences, more education in the prevention of data crimes, speedy and effective intervention in cases of violence against children, and improvements in oil spill clearance readiness in the face of a growing threat of environmental disasters.

So, “safest country in Europe by 2015″ - thats quite an ambitious goal.

It’s April 15th, U.S. tax day! I’ve filled out my taxes every year except last year when I forgot. I know quite a few Americans who don’t bother, do you? I’d rather be safe than sorry. Finnish income taxes are certainly easier to do than its American counterpart, but I still rather pay the cheaper U.S. taxes.

An American abroad can earn up to 85,700 (USD) without paying taxes, which seems like a lot but if the dollar keeps plummeting I may one day actually have to pay something. Thanks to the crap dollar my salary actually begins to look quite decent, but then you need to consider that I pay $8/gallon for gas, $16 for a movie ticket, $39k for a car that costs $20K in the states…and my income again looks quite depressing.

The Finnish Central Chamber of Commerce wants to open up the discussion on flat tax. The CCC isn’t taking a side on the flat tax itself, but wants to open a discussion, as people generally view the issue more based on feelings rather then facts. The CCC has made surveys regarding the implementation and came up with some interesting figures. At current, the only progressive tax is the State income tax. The current tax amount could be collected with 32,5 %, if the basic deduction before tax was 5 000 euros. If the deduction rises to 7 500 euro, the flat tax should be at 36,7 % and with a 10 000 euro deduction to 41,5 %. The CCC notes that the majority of the countries that have a flat tax are small or medium-sized former socialist countries that don’t have a huge public sector expenditure. The only big country implementing a flat tax is Russia, while the only not with a socialist background is Iceland.

Breaking news in Helsingin Sanomat: Finnish civil servants and officials are allowed to watch pornography!

Or so the newspaper would want us to think. The real “news” is that that nothing happened. As in “there are no rules as to what kind of hotels the civil servants or officials should acommodate into”. Now why is this non-issue and issue? Well, the Åland government passed a decree that the civil servants of Åland may not be acommodated into hotels that have porn channels. Apparently the Swedes have compiled such lists, and the Ålanders followed suit.

Well, this non-issue issue means that the Finnish taxpayers don’t have to pay out of their nose choosing some hotel over the other just for the sake of what is on cable. Heck, according to the “Swedish Rules” any hotel having a digibox in Finland is having “porn” as what else that is coming on the “aikuisviihde” channel at midnights? And its a free channel too.  Its not like the hotel pay channels would be anything you stumble upon by accident let alone could bill in your expenses.

Don’t they have anything… more sensible to report about. Except nothing happening?