Finland for Thought
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1.4.2007

Paavo Väyrynen suggested to the position of King

Tags: Uncategorized — Author:   @ 10:49 am

Just released genealogical data on 1.4. has connected Paavo Väyrynen to the former royal family of Finland through a 16th centrury herring merchant. Because of the reluctance of the PM Matti Vanhanen to directly appoint Paavo to any high ranking political office, the Royalist Party that won a landslide vote, has suggested Paavo be elected as King of Finland, probably taking the name Urho II.

The Kingdom of Finland has recently been in upheavel over the election of the King, as the law dictates the king has to be decended from a herring merchant and be able to drink the traditional bowl of muddy waters.

  • Bill from Texas

    Wow, I didn’t know that Finland is a kingdom. But I want to wish best of luck to your new king Urho II. Is he somehow related to former king Urho Kekkonen?

  • Anonymous

    Ah April is here

  • finlandfreak

    Paavo for president!

  • Åboy

    This guy’s so annoying. His face reminds me of a pug, which is a shame because pugs are actually cute and cuddly little dogs. Oh Lordi how he’s annoying.

  • Åboy

    Have to make clear: His face doesn’t make him cute and cuddly. Only annoying. :lol:

  • JG

    April april din dumma sill, jag kan lura dig vart jag vill.

  • aet75

    Touché! :) It might not be such a bad idea tho, make him King, and he might finally stop bothering us. Then again, it might just be his first step towards becoming the Supreme Ruler of the Universe!

  • Passer-by
  • Pave

    Maybe I should change my nick here…

  • Freeridin’ Franklin

    Is he somehow related to former king Urho Kekkonen?

    There are some speculations that Väyrynen’s rapid rise within KePu ranks might have something to do with Urkki’s (who can be seen in the picture and was known to be quite a playa) frequent skiing/hunting/fishing trips to the north. There’s the old saying about what to do up north when the lake’s too frozen for fishing.

  • Antti rn

    Heh, I think Urho said Paavo was good at school and that’s how he made it up to a foreign minister at such an early age. Or at least that’s what Urkki told Brezhnev, when he asked ‘Is THIS your foreign minister?’

  • hemmetti

    Paavo rules! He’s a living relic from 70′s. Perhaps the ethics of Finnish politic life has been changed and Väyrynen gets a kick in his ass… I think he is a perfect example of a person who is quite.. how do I put this…selfish… We don’t need such relics in Finnish politics anymore

  • somedude

    http://www.kaleva.fi/plus/juttu648552_page0.htm

    oh and they already did an april fools so this is not one. People in the northern most lapland are demanding väyrynen for prime minister.

  • hemmetti

    And Väyrynen was one of Kekkonen’s lapdogs, buying the rights to the waters at river Kemijoki for the power company. And he lives there still… What a piece of a shit that man is!

  • Lan Theroux

    I think that those who hate Paavo Väyrynen with a passion take politics way too seriously. Ok sure he’s utterly insane, BUT he’s funny. For years he has been gathering rage in the depths of mount doom (European Parlament) – now that he has returned, ofcourse he should be given a high ranking position.

  • finlandfreak

    “And Väyrynen was one of Kekkonen’s lapdogs, buying the rights to the waters at river Kemijoki for the power company. And he lives there still… What a piece of a shit that man is!”

    What’s wrong with green energy?

  • Drakon

    Passerby, #8: That depiction of Great Cthulhu DOES indeed look a bit like former presidents P.E. Svinhufvud and Kyösti Kallio. He has my vote.

    http://lehti.samizdat.info/2005/05/30/1112/

  • Anonymous

    The herring elite rules:

    “… principal exports are hides and salt fish …”

    http://www.conservapedia.com/Finland

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