Naming yourself and your children in Finland
In Finland, you don’t have the freedom to name yourself or your children whatever you want, unique names must be first approved by the state’s naming board.
Males cannot take female names and vice versa, unless you had a sex change. Finnish names that have another meaning are rejected, unless already they’re already established names. You can’t have two capital letters in your name without a hyphen. Officials are often reluctant to change a Finnish name into a foreign name. If you change your name more than once, it immediately goes to the naming board for approval.
Here’s some examples of names that have been rejected by the Finnish state…
Alexanteri Suuri, Banaani, Mefisto, Tiltsi, Pasithea, Ziiki, Maloo, Jools, Glorious, Toro, Mayhem, Taikuri, Arsenal, Hulk Hogan, Elmostiina, Gioia, Eldan, Kapu, Answer, Leiah
In a free society of course, you’d have the freedom to name yourself whatever you wish. Names like “Ziiki” obviously have some sort of cultural meaning, and even if it doesn’t, it’s still a nice name. I personally hate how we all share the same names, we’re all unique individuals yet there’s gazillions of “Phil’s” out there. I really like how the African-American community have embraced unique names, often from African languages or derivatives there of. I couldn’t even imagine how a diverse nation like the U.S. would handle the approval and rejection of names.
In a free society people have the freedom to do stupid things, like naming their kids “Hulk Hogan”. But if you’re parents plan to do that, you’re doomed from birth whether you’re name is “Hulk Hogan” or “Joe”, a state naming board won’t make any difference. And by the way, what’s wrong with the name “Leiah”?? There’s much worse Star Wars names out there I can think of. (although I do know a Finnish dude named “Jaba”)
Info from Kuukausiliite
“But if you’re parents plan to do that, you’re doomed from birth whether you’re name is “Hulk Hogan†or “Joeâ€Â, a state naming board won’t make any difference.”
Obviously it will, in at least one respect – you won’t get teased about your name. There are plenty of kids with idiot parents who don’t get teased at school. Having a name like Osama Bin Jokinen is a guarantee if trouble.
Comment by finnsense — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 1:11 pm
Kids get teased for a million different things. If your parents named you Hulk Hogan, it’s the least of your worries.
Comment by Phil — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 1:17 pm
Isn’t this like the third time you’ve blogged about this same topic? Why is it such a big deal?
Comment by Anzi — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
“Kids get teased for a million different things. If your parents named you Hulk Hogan, it’s the least of your worries.”
That’s ridiculous. Some kids get teased and others don’t. Sad to say but I would probably have made fun of a kid with a silly name who otherwise I would have left alone. That’s one extra kid being made unnecessarily miserable.
Comment by finnsense — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 1:33 pm
Would it be ok to name your kid Cocksucker?
Comment by Anonymous — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 1:57 pm
Isn’t this like the third time you’ve blogged about this same topic? Why is it such a big deal?
Helsingin Sanomat wrote about the elections today, yesterday, and Friday. I swear to God, if they write about it tomorrow, I’m gonna flip.
Comment by Phil — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 2:11 pm
Would it be ok to name your kid Cocksucker?
Only if it’s a male, cause Finland doesn’t allow females to use male names.
Comment by Phil — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 2:12 pm
I have a name, that should not be approved by the board. (My full name, Anni is of course very common Finnish name). So there are ways to go round these these rules. My parents just had a nice chat with the priest and everything was fine. And normally if the child has a different ethnic backround names common in child’s own culture can be given. And the guy called Jabba has changed his name later in his life. I also know persons called Pilbo and Herkku. And a girl called Mica. The board is less strict if somebody wants to change their own name/names. The reasons must be obvious, if you want to be called something ridiculous, it’s your own problem, if your parents want to do it, they should at least think twice.
Comment by Anni — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 3:47 pm
Hm, I remember reading an article long time ago, where somebody named their son “J”. Just J, nothing else.
Comment by Mikko — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 3:53 pm
Hell, kids taunt other kids even with ‘normal’ names….even I got teased with my very boring WASPy name. Kids can always legally chane their names once they’re old enough and have had enough therapy. Besides, aren’t there enough Pekkas and Juhas in Finland already?
Comment by hfb — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 4:00 pm
“I personally hate how we all share the same names, we’re all unique individuals yet there’s gazillions of “Phil’s†out there.”
Perhaps you should change your name, then.
Comment by finlandfreak — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 4:25 pm
Taikuri is a funny name. I think it should be official since I know at least two guys who are being called Taikuri all the time. That name name has some personality.
Comment by Jaakko — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 4:30 pm
Perhaps you should change your name, then.
I would, but they wouldn’t accept “Hulk Hogan”.
Comment by Phil — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 4:52 pm
#13
“I would, but they wouldn’t accept “Hulk Hoganâ€Â.”
They would accept Hulk as a first name. As for Hogan I am not sure if as a second name then sure if as a surname then you would have to show somehow that you have relatives whose last name is Hogan but as Hogan is a foreign name in Finland, you could probably register it as a new surname here and that would be okay.
So it is settled then phil will change his name to Hulk Hogan, right?
Comment by Anonymous — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 5:03 pm
So in the land of the free you can name your kid whatever you like? For example Massive Fucking Faggot would be a catchy name. Or maybe a name which has Polish and Arabic roots: Ktcktkt Blhrxsthh?
Comment by CSI Maryland — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 7:41 pm
Take Prince. That idiot changed his name to a glyph(drawing), before getting bored with it and changing it back.
Not sure how they managed to print his name on his credit card or plane tickets. Probably just printed his old name on everything else.
Comment by Fred Fry — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 8:26 pm
Take Prince. That idiot changed his name to a glyph(drawing), before getting bored with it and changing it back.
It’s SHIFT + ALT + P …try it.
Comment by Phil — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 8:31 pm
For example Massive Fucking Faggot would be a catchy name.
Rofl. Too true.
I think the real solution to this problem is obviously to ban a lot of people from having kids in the first place. Too many people inflict their boundary less children on us as it is. Like my sister-in-law.
Comment by gopha — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 8:53 pm
Whoever wanted to name their child Banaani should be castrated.
Seriously, spoiling the life of your child is not something you should be entitled to.
Comment by Ano Nymous — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 8:56 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwvL_as0db0
Comment by Mmmm — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 9:41 pm
“They would accept Hulk as a first name. As for Hogan I am not sure….”
That’s ok, just modify the name to… Hülk Högan
Those heavy metal umlauts work every time
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy_metal_umlaut
Comment by Kristian (in Espoo) — Sun, Feb 4th, 2007 @ 9:43 pm
Well, in a free society you would probably be free to molest your child sexually, so this relatively minor infringement of invidual citizen’s unlimited rights is not such a huge deal: there are much greater injustices in Finland.
Comment by mjr — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 12:17 am
Well, in a free society you would probably be free to molest your child sexually
Uhh….no.
Comment by Phil — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 12:42 am
So, naming your helpless child something very ridiculous or offending, is actually a kind of a molestation that infringes his/her right to normal and secure childhood. Surely. In that case your idea of a free society where YOU can name your child whatever comes to your free “mind” does not sound that exemplary, or free, to me. Hmm, it would really seem that freedom is actually quite a complex idea and that often liberties need to be protected from individuals even when they are acting on their own free will. In fact, liberty does not equal that people are ALWAYS allowed to act on their free will, whatever that will may be. Do you agree or disagree, Phil?
Comment by mjr — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 12:51 am
mjr—I for one, sort of agree with you. Maybe it’s because I have some personal experience with this matter. Living abroad as a child wasn’t easy with a Finnish name (Of course, I don’t mean my screenname name Kristian). In some ways it’s kind of good that there are rules for these things, and I wish I could have benefited from them somehow.
I guess these days, such rules are becoming increasingly irrelevant due to the many cultural influences. They’ll probably be eliminated altogether in time.
Comment by Kristian (in Espoo) — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 1:27 am
So, naming your helpless child something very ridiculous or offending, is actually a kind of a molestation that infringes his/her right to normal and secure childhood. Surely.
But the Finnish naming board goes way beyond that. “Ziiki” or “Leiah” are neither riduculous nor offending, not even close.
liberties need to be protected from individuals even when they are acting on their own free will.
Yes yes, politicians need to protect people from their own freedoms.
In fact, liberty does not equal that people are ALWAYS allowed to act on their free will, whatever that will may be.
All your freedoms all the time.
Comment by Phil — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 2:49 am
I’m sure Kuukausiliite looked for the most offending, ridiculous names possible. The worst they could do was “Hulk Hogan”, which was probably some young dude trying to be funny by changing his name. Think about it, how could would it be to have “Hulk Hogan” on your passport?
Parents just don’t give offending or ridiculous names to their loved ones. It just doesn’t happen. And like I said, if it did ever happen, that kid’s name would be the least of his worries.
For every name that may be considered “inappropriate” by some, there’s another 10 others who want unique names but are denied this by the state. This is one of the many fundamental differences between liberals and others – liberals say, “hey, those 10 people are being denied their freedoms because of one bad egg” while the statists say, “those 10 people need to do without because we need to protect that one bad egg”
Comment by Phil — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 2:58 am
I guess they wanna be eggstra careful ;-p
Comment by Kristian (in Espoo) — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 3:33 am
Leiah is of foreign spelling, Leia without the h might pass.
Comment by samwyse — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 5:15 am
@27,
the article did not list names that got passed. I think if you want a unique name that does not make you sound like a dork to any native Finnish speaker you can get the name. ‘Nikita Joakim Fouganthine’ (formerly known as Juha Valjakkala) is an example of what gets passed, so they can’t be that strict. Or just move to the UK and use a deed poll – IIRC an irate customer once changed his name to ‘The North Yorkshire Bank Are A Bunch of Fascist Wankers’.
Comment by prince of dorkness — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 9:27 am
And if I ever have a son, I think I’m gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
Eh, today Johnny Cash might think twice…
Comment by issi — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 10:17 am
Yes, well, now I dare you move then to Lithuania. The new gay pornstar would be then Philis Schwartzmanis… now atleast Finland doesn’t make you change your name, you can keep your own…
And wasn’t Nikita an Aslak at some point and time?
Comment by Hankus Wankingis. — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 12:23 pm
@30 and if Simo Rantalainen is IIRC officially “Muhajed bin Risto Faisal”, they can’t be strict at all.
Comment by Hank W. — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 12:28 pm
Besides, regardless what your real name is, no one regulates what you’re actually called. Your real name can be Tiina Mäkelä but you can go by Prinsessa Kuulas Aamunkoitto.
Comment by Anzi — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 12:39 pm
How about the humorously named twins: Anu & Per Saukko..?
…or: Mortti & Vertti Virtanen..?
…some parents *really* think they’re being clever… heh. not.
Comment by FinnFreak — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 12:40 pm
Click on the “name service” here:
http://www.vaestorekisterikeskus.fi/vrk/home.nsf/pages/index_eng
It’s very intesting to play with names to see when they have been popular. Only 5 Phillips since 2000!
Comment by Väinämöinen — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 2:43 pm
Most important is thenickname you are given later. The nick you deserved. Once you were called CAPTAIN, LAZYBOTTOM, SCROOGIE, THIEF, THOUCHY, STINKY-BUG. In our ugly solitor-time, it’s risky to name a lady CABBAGE. Lawyers mist be banished and given mames: MONEYSUCKER, DOUBLETOOTH …. Truly yours Strudel
Comment by strudel — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 3:33 pm
What about if you don’t want to officially give your child a name at all?
Comment by - — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 3:59 pm
hmm… there must be a law on that (we just can’t go by our social security number only)..?
heh, yeah: let the state decide..!
Comment by FinnFreak — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 4:45 pm
There just was this story about a 7-year-old boy who still doesn’t have an official name.
http://www.iltasanomat.fi/uutiset/kotimaa/uutinen.asp?id=1312858
Parents wanted to name him Axl. A priest accepted this and he was baptized. However, the name was later rejected and now the Supreme Administrative Court has decided that he can’t use that name, despite the fact that there are other people in Finland called Axl.
Now the case is going to the European court of human rights.
Comment by Juho M. — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 8:27 pm
#40 I wonder are the other Axl’s Finns or foreigners? Wouldn’t the Finnish government allow a foreigner to use an usual name if it was something that is used in their own country?
But in general what happens in the case where a child is not officially registered with a name? I know that you don’t get lapsilisää if you don’t register but what else? Are you denied other things? Does the government pursue it further if you just don’t name your kid officially (like with fines) or do they just let it be?
Comment by - — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 9:13 pm
However, the name was later rejected and now the Supreme Administrative Court has decided that he can’t use that name, despite the fact that there are other people in Finland called Axl.
LOL! Glad to see my taxes are going towards this kind of shit.
Comment by Phil — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 9:29 pm
Just name him Axel.
Comment by samwyse — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 9:43 pm
It has to appear more Finn-like. Consider Akseli.
It would match his siblings, Puskuri, Jarru ja Ratti.
Pretty soon there’ll be a whole car
Comment by Kristian (in Espoo) — Mon, Feb 5th, 2007 @ 10:45 pm
Some examples about names you don’t wanna have in certain countries:
A Turkish male named Ufuk living in US or UK (self explanatory).
A Finnish girl named Anu in Italy (too close to anus).
Anyone knows more examples?
Comment by AbnerMarsh — Tue, Feb 6th, 2007 @ 4:09 pm
#15 How about Pekka in US/UK?
Too close to pecker
Comment by Kristian (in Espoo) — Tue, Feb 6th, 2007 @ 4:18 pm
Or ‘Seppo’ in Australia
Comment by Hank W. — Tue, Feb 6th, 2007 @ 5:45 pm
Jorma in Finland
==
Dick in USA
and let’s not forget Forss Fagerström
Comment by CSI Maryland — Tue, Feb 6th, 2007 @ 6:01 pm
Heh, I remember one interview of a swedish guy named Jerker, who was always having troubles when booking room from a hotel in english speaking countries etc.
My name has a feminine sound in some places (must be the last letter ‘i’). Sometimes the disappointment is palpable as people were expecting some nordic blonde and they got a rapidly balding, middle-aged guy with occasional beard.
Comment by Antti (the redneck one) — Tue, Feb 6th, 2007 @ 7:26 pm
My cousin and her husband named their boy Eemeli (sounds like Emily). They live in London, but if the kid is lucky, they’ll move back to Finland before he reaches school age.
Comment by Kristian (in Espoo) — Tue, Feb 6th, 2007 @ 8:30 pm
if the kid is lucky, they’ll move back to Finland before he reaches school age
Why would a Finnish name in other countries be automatically considered stupid and embarrassing? Foreign names in Finland are almost always considered “cool” and exotic.
Why couldn’t it work both ways, ie. Eemeli would be exotic and interesting in London?
Comment by Åboy — Tue, Feb 6th, 2007 @ 9:39 pm
Åboy: Why couldn’t it work both ways, ie. Eemeli would be exotic and interesting in London?”
It would be pronounced like the feminine Emily, not Ehhhhhhhmeli like it’s supposed to—especially if it’s seen written before any personal introductions have been made. It could be embarrassing, if the teacher calls it out on the roster. Then again, maybe London is advanced enough to overcome it…
Another difficult name would be Lauri. Pronouced Lauw-ry. Obviously, it is the Finnish version of Larry/Laurence, but it would be pronounced Lory in the anglo world. Definitely not a guy’s name. I have a cousin who lamented about that one.
Comment by Kristian (in Espoo) — Wed, Feb 7th, 2007 @ 12:16 am